We are both single and in our 30's and finding it a bit hard to meet other singles that are our cup of tea/mug of beer/glass of wine/or martini shaker.
One thing that Malcolm had told me which I initially thought was cute, was that many of his married friends were trying to set him up with random females. This sounds like a great idea...having your married friends looking out for you like that. However, this is not truely the case as Malcolm explains. They weren't taking into consideration anything they knew about Malcolm or anything that they knew about the women. I think they were trying to go with the "1000 Monkies" Theory.
Isn't it the theory that if you locked 1000 monkies in a room with typwriters that eventually they will write a Shakespaerean sonnet? I think Malcolm's friends were thinking that if they locked Malcolm in a room with a bunch of single women that eventually he will hook up with one.
Where as from a lab-rat point of view this *may* happen..last man on earth and all that- really, there are so many factors and variables when it comes to finding someone attractive and engaging that sometimes being set up isn't the best thing at all.
I have been on *countless* blind dates. Ok...maybe not countless..because thinking about it there have been 5 truely blind dates (including a blind date with a blind guy - a story for another time) - but my point is this: It is best to choose for yourself rather than rely on your friends to choose for you.
I once was set up by one of my BROTHERS! Who knows you more than family right? WRONG! The guy he set me up with was sooo not my style. I think I am pretty high energy...I talk a lot, I ask an enormous amount of questions, I am curious about people in general and my surroundings in particular. This guy was so quiet, so linear, a virtual social recluse and he thought my being excited to go to the Art Gallery was (and I'm going to quote him here) "A waste of emotion". Anyhooo...I wasn't quite his cup of tepid tea either. If I were a drink...I might be something with a bit more zip to it.
What I think, is that Married People think that all Single People are jealous of their (MP) partnership, and that most Single People think that Married People are jealous of their (SP) carefree lifestyle. So what are we talking about here? Jealousy and Misinformation- a dangerous mix really.
There are probably grains of truth in both of the statements...BUT...I look at some couples that I know...and I wouldn't want what they have.
My Colleague (remember her from It's Peeeeeooopllee) is married to a control phreak! This guy is a deadbeat loser guy - they are squatters in False Creek (dont' even get me started there) and he doesn't work...doesn't pay taxes...she's the bread winner...but they NEVER EVER, not ONCE do any of the leisure activities that she is interested in. It is all His way or the Waterway baby. He's also on her about her weight all the time and basically tells her that he'll leave her if she gains more than 20lbs. Wholly crap batman! EJECT EJECT EJECT!
I once dated a guy who thought I was too fat to fuck. Forget it. I will not put myself in a position of humiliation like that again. I am stunning...just look at me! Yes I need to shed about 20lbs to be fit and athletic...but I am by no means obese or at any sort of serious health risk. I want to lose the weight for my own sense of asthetics...not to please some man who can't see beyond the outter shell.
Now don't crap on that I don't care about apperances. Of course chemistry and attraction are mostly based on physical looks...but I believe that I have a unique sense of beauty. I am attracted to guys who are built more like football/rugby/hockey players than track and field. I love a broad chest, nice bum and big arms to be wrapped up in. I get wigged out if the guy is much skinnier than I am. It's the sense of physical strength I go for I think.
Haveing said all of that...looks will only get you so far. I am not interested in dating the "pretty boy" who can't have an intelligent conversation with me. I love a man with good communication skills...using monosylabic words will bore me to tears. However, engage me in a discussion that challenges my brain and you'll win me over more than a Colgate Smile and nice set of pecks.
So am I jealous of my married friends? On ocasion. Are they jealous of me? I doubt it. Even Dan Brown commented that he was so glad to be out of the dating scene. It's not a scene...it's a phreakin' jungle!
Kwerkie
1 comment:
I've found the best way to win friends and influence people is to talk to yourself but do so in a manner that makes people believe that they're missing out on a very valuable conversation. Peole ingeneral seem to always want what they cannot have and let me tell you having a good conversation with a crazy person is WOOO really hard. Actually don't do this, my doctor told me to stop giving people advice ESPECIALLY myself.
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