Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Vexation thy name is

I will not name the Vexation. It will be "Vexation who shall not be named". I shall only refer to this person as Vexation so as to not give them too much credit.

I am so tired of NOT being confronted with the imagined wrongs I've done. Instead what I've noticed is that somehow, someway, I have 'wronged' someone without even knowing it...and then there is this strange behaviour that seeps from them. I'd like to think that perhaps it was just an off day for the Vexation that shall not be named, but the sad truth is that it' more noticeable when they are NOT in a bad mood. It's like they are a professional Disgruntler...without the paycheck to show for it.

It would be one thing if this person were actually PAID to be in a bad mood 360/365 days. I can't remember the last time this person actually had a genuine SMILE on their face. All smiles are teeth showing. I always find something suspicious in people who don't smile with their teeth. The same goes for people who cover their mouths with their hands when they smile or laugh - I feel it's because they are hiding something - too afraid to be themselves, too afraid someone might gleam some insight into their souls/personalities.

I guess in this case, if you are a toxic human being then by all means- PLEASE cover up! I would hate for all that negativity to escape out into the world...running rampant down the streets scaring the elderly and scarring young children.

The fact that I am spewing venom right now is not lost on me...I'm frustrated, angry and feel the need to vent in the best way I know how. Also, in an attempt to not become toxic myself I have refrained from naming the Vexation that Shall Not Be Named -lest my venting turns into some sort of violent exchange in the future. (I fear the the VTSNBN is one twitch away from having a complete Falling Down)

I am wondering what will transpire the next time I will be face to face with this person. It's an unhappy happening that we have a smattering of mutual friends (though I use that word fairly loosely in some cases).

For my part I know that I will smile (with teeth in case you were wondering) and I will be polite. I will wait for a cue as to how to conduct myself in the public setting. I feel the need to take this person away and confront them on their exceptionally odd behaviour, however, there is also a large part of me that believes I could be free - I could be actually carrying out a task I have set for myself. To rid myself of all the negative garbage in my life.

Oh - speaking of getting rid of - I am single once more and am actually quite happy about it. I know it seems like I go through mood swings with this - but I suppose that is the way things are with me.

I have a new hair do (of COURSE!) and I'm struttin' around the fantastic woman that I am! I have finally come to know who I am and what I want - it's an amazing! The BEST part of it all...I seem to be getting quite a bit of attention lately from different men around my 'hood'.

First off - Angelous and Bradford have noticed I carry myself differently. My shoulders are back, my head is up and I am nearly always smiling, Secondly, the 7:32AM Dog Walker has (after 8 months) started to smile and say 'G'mornin'" to me. Also, Banker Man has held the door open for me no less than 4 times in the last 10 days and today he 'sniffed' me and said in his delicious Irish accent that I smelled 'gorgeous'.

So perhaps there is something to not allowing the Negative Nelly's/Nevil's to hang around in my monkeysphere.

I shall post more on the monkeysphere another day.

Sooo VTSNBN - I will not allow you to bring me down. If I happen to see you amongst my cherished monkeys I will simply allow you to 'be' but not allow you to 'effect'.

*wow* I feel so much better!

Vexation be gone!!