Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A magical date

Ok...so I know that I promised to give you the low down on the date I went on a few weeks ago and here it is.

It's not with anyone new...so don't get worried there. In fact, I have known this person for a long time but had lost touch with them about the 5th or 6th month after I started dating Ronan. I did see glimpses of them here and there but never made any time to really connect or have much of a conversation with them.

It wasn't until about 2 weeks before I broke up with Ronan that I recognized this person while at the movies with my friend Anna. As the movie played out...I could hear this person talking and immediately recognized the voice. This was a major factor in my decision to break up with Ronan.

Now...I don't want to hear any sharp gasps or even thoughts that you think I would have cheated on Ronan with this person. In fact...you will be shocked to find out that the person I am talking about is none other than Myself.

Yes...it's true. I am talking about ME.

Since I've been single again I have been thinking a lot about what happened in my relationship with Ronan and why things went so sideways. I have come to discover it was because I wasn't always true to myself in my relationship with him. In order to get back to feeling better, I decided that it was high time I took myself out on a date and got to know me once again.

So it started out pretty casual...a walk down to the local Mega Bucks for my new hot drink of choice....Steamed Apple Cider (plain). I then walked towards English Bay but decided against walking the seawall as that would only remind me of Ronan and our evening walks...so I chose to walk up Davie St instead.

I walk past several cafes, interesting people and some dogs. It's a cold night, but a clear one, so I continue walking. Pretty soon I'm in Yaletown and I remember this neat little cafe and billiards place I used to like to go to. So off I go to The Soho and grab the last available pool table.

6 Games of solo- pool and 2 glasses of wine later I was feeling pretty good. I was 100% comfortable being by myself and playing pool and though I wondered about the appropriateness of the 2nd glass...the wine was very tastey and worth the $12.00 I spent on it.

On my walk home I ran into 2 guy friends of mine who were out and about and sat with them for a bit to visit. I told them that I was on a date with myself and they both agreed that I was being terribly rude to my date by sitting with them. And they were right...the night was about me! Hugs and kisses later I walked back to my Spanish Abode.

Upon arriving at the door to my actual apartment, I took a moment to think about how my ME time had gone. I was so charmed by myself that when I got inside my place, I took advantage of myself and decided it was time to get to know another thing in my life that I had put away for the ENTIRE time I dated Ronan.

That's right....I brought out the thing that goes BUZZZZZ in the night!

The next day I couldn't stop smiling as I went to work.

It's good to date me again...I'm fabulous.

Monday, December 19, 2005

The Follow Through

Alright I know…I’ve been remiss in keeping this up to date. I promise a bit more follow through.

There have been a lot of things going on and I am happy to report that I seem to be doing fairly well despite having some blue moments here and there.

For the first week after I split from Ronan I felt very good. Then I talked to him. He called me to be clear. In fact, the conversation started off really nice and I wondered briefly if I made the right decision. And then, then it became glaringly obvious that I had indeed made the right decision.

Y’see…Ronan didn’t phone me because he missed me. He didn’t phone me to find out how I was or to wish me well or for any other reason other than to get me to take him to a major sporting event that I had an extra ticket to. That’s right…I had forgotten that so much of our relationship was ALLLL about him. This phone call made it ever-so-clear that not only had I made the right choice in leaving him, but it was also a painful reminder that I really should have done it 4 months earlier.

When the conversation turned ugly, I chose to end it. I told him I was going to hang up, I told him I didn’t want to talk to him again, I told him to move on with his life and then said a very emphatic “Good Bye!”. I hung up the phone.

It rang nearly immediately. Thanks to Call Display I knew it was him. I ignored it. It rang again. Same thing. I think this went on for about 4 times. He left 2 voice messages. I picked up the phone and decided I would see what he had to say. In the middle of retrieving my phone messages he phones again…I sigh and pick up.

He starts off with a massive apology and begs me not to check my messages. That he didn’t mean the awful things he said. Well…holy shit! I’m thinking. I am glad I didn’t listen to what ever toxic shit he was spewing out at me. He begs me to take him to the game, begs me to forgive him for his terrible behavior and begs me to send him a photo of himself at Corinna’s wedding. He claims this is for his family, but we both knew it was so that he could post up on some sort of internet dating site. I told him I wouldn’t listen to the voice mail (after all…why do I want to hear garbage??) and that I would email him the picture but that I would most definitely NOT be taking him to the game. I asked him if he would send me the photos from our vacation and he said he would.

Of course, I have lived up to my end of the bargain. Any guesses as to whether or not Ronan has followed through with his promise of sending me the vacation photos? Any takers??? No? Well….I don’t really blame you. He was incapable of following through with anything when we were dating…so naturally it goes to follow that he remains consistent in his inability to follow through on his word when we have broken up.

Having said all of this, I am, actually, quite content.

I finally caved in and got some cable….along with reliable internet access. I am spending some time watching the news (informative but rather depressing) and most other times just puttering around my apartment. I have been keeping it in a state of semi-clean for a few weeks up until this past weekend when squalor once again has visited my Spanish Abode.

I would like to blame my social calendar…I have been out and about quite a lot these last 3 weeks. However, I am sure we can all agree, that I do have 15 minutes to spend every day to do the dishes, tidy the living room, put my clothes away and sweep the floor.

I have decided that I actually love my place when it’s very clean…so I must take the time to keep it that way. Besides that…I love to be spontaneous and be comfortable inviting my friends over at a moment’s notice. This means that my place must always be “visitor ready”.

Alright…this is it for today.

Next time I’ll tell you about the date I went on….