Deliver Me

There is nothing worse than being sick...unless you are sick by your own hand. I don't even know what I had...hang over? yucky tummy due to bad draft beer? was the chicken not fully cooked in my curry bowl on Thursday? I don't know.

I missed my work Christmas Luncheon on Friday. I had been looking forward to this for WEEKS. Had even bought a new top to wear for it. Granted the top was $10.00 and I am sure I can wear it again etc etc,..HOWEVER...it's not the point. The point is...I wanted to be eating and drinking and making merry at CinCins with my colleagues instead of being driven home by my boss and desperately trying to avoid puking in his car.

Initially I tried to treat it like a hang over. 1 Martini and 2 Beers don't normally send me praying to the porcelain god....but I am getting older and I have noticed that my body just doesn't process alcohol as well. I am beginning to think that my liver has a "NO VACANCY" sign posted and I just haven't seen the neon sign yet. So Friday morning I got up and tried to steady my dodgy tummy. I drank 2 big glasses of water. I promptly threw them up.

I managed to pull myself to together and get ready for work. I even managed to pack up all my New Year's Eve gear to do the fashion parade so that I could get an opinion about what to wear etc. I had EVEN remembered to bring the corkscrew so that we could have some of the fancy wine before going to lunch.

I went to McDonald's and got myself 2 hashbrowns and some orange juice - my hang over cure. But this did not sit well. In fact...it only had 10 minutes to sit in my tummy before being evicted. I decided that drastic measures had to be taken. I went across the street to Shoppers Drug Mart in order to buy some Pepto Bismal. This was less than successful.

I managed to find the Pepto...I managed to make my way to the counter....and then rudely and desperately interrupted the sales lady to urgently obtain a plastic bag. I put the Pepto down and ran outside and then threw up into the bag...this was most embarrassing...I was there...in plain view of both vehicular and pedestrian traffic. I tried to hide as best I could in the corner and was praying that no one came to try to help me.

There is nothing I hate worse than vomiting. I feel like such an animal when I puke. This feeling of disgust was only heightened by the fact that I had to vomit outside in public like a dog! The only thing I kept thinking was "God! Deliver me from this!".

I got back to the office, had some Pepto Bismal, puked that up. I can tell you that nothing seemed more worrisome to me on Friday than puking up neon pink anti-puke medicine. Anyway....to make a long storey about expelling one's guts even longer...I got back to the office and my boss basically told me to go home. When it appeared to him that I wasn't prepared to do this and that I was trying to ride out the illness and still make it for lunch...he drove me home.

So I spent what would have been a very joyous Friday afternoon in bed. At around 6:30PM when the second glass of water I had drank decided to stay down...I began to think that it would be a good idea to try to eat something and also re-hydrate my body. I looked around the disaster that is my apartment and thought "God! Deliver me some crackers and ginger ale. And a Molly Maid."

I spent some time thinking about what it's like being single and sick. When you are alone...no one is there to ask if you are feeling better, if you need more Kleenex or would like them to pop around to the shops for some Ginger Ale. When you are single and sick, you are truly alone with your own misery and this can be both good and bad. Good because you are not subjecting anyone else to your germs and bad vibes. Bad because no one is there to tell you that your germs are sexy and to try to cheer you up.

I also spent some time thinking about the sorts of things I really do want to be available for delivery. In Australia there is a service where you can get just about everything delivered. It's one phone call to one shop- you place your order and can have any of the following delivered to you : alcohol (beer and wine only at the time I was there...but they were trying to get harder liquor approved for delivery as well), snacks (not major groceries though you could get milk and sausages), tampons (this seemed like a brilliant idea) and pet food.

So here are somethings I think ought to be available for delivery from a service such as they have in Australia: tylenol (or other pain killer), lip balm, cookies (chocolate chip, oatmeal & raisin and digestive), cheese - the fancy kinds, wine (good stuff...not that white zinfandel crap), movies (all kinds), cat litter and toilet paper.

Ok Ok...I hear you say "deliver me from this entry". And so I shall.

Byeeeeeeeeee