The Boomerang Effect

Ok...I've put this one off long enough.

The thing about a Boomerang is that it comes back. It is a very cleverly designed and pleasingly shaped bit of wood that when thrown at a certain angle will come back to you. They were used by the Aboriginal peoples of Australia to kill their prey. Yes..that's right...KILL their prey - ok...maybe not kill...but stun so that they can then jab the prey with a spear and thus rendering it (the prey) dead. Sometimes the inexperienced will throw a boomerangs and it comes back and smacks them in the head. Lucky for me , I might not have a good throwing arm...but at least I know when to duck.

Jon is a Boomerang. One week (nearly to the day) after we were over (on the phone remember? Where are those bluddy dating rules????!!!) he phones me. He needs to see me, I left something at his place he wants to return, he wants to see me...wants to know that I don't hate him.

Fine. I tell him I don't hate him (this isn't a lie) and I allow him into my apartment. He arrives over an HOUR late and is a) looking like he was recently voted Scruffiest Man of the Year and b) is loaded -both with money and alcohol...an interesting combo.

So I left some cash at his place (allegedly). I don't remember doing this...but I guess I left $40.00 at his place and I assumed I had just spent it on...well....who knows what really. Ok...so he gives me my $$ back. Then he craps on about how the sex was between us was mediocre at best. This is a bit on the true side...it was fun...but it wasn't exactly great sex. He's too obsessed with the size of his penis and for that reason he is not much into receiving oral sex because it only makes him think that I am somehow judging him by his size. *sigh*

NEWS FLASH BOYS!!!! PENIS SIZE IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!!!! JAYZUS!!

*Side Note* The best lover I ever had, also happened to have the smallest penis. This is not a slight against him...he knew what he had to work with as far as his anatomy was concerned and he became very very good at absolutely everything.

Ok, back to the Boomerang. So he says this...says that he was looking for ALL the qualities in a partner...sexual fireworks, intelligence, blah blah blah...same list pretty much everyone is looking for. He informs me that I have all bar 2 of them covered...the ones I'm am lacking is sexual fireworks and confidence. Whatever Trevor!

I must have sounded like a broken record that night. I kept asking him what he was doing there. Why he wanted to see me so badly etc etc. He then tries a new tactic. "I am drawn to you." Basically he wanted a bit of a booty call and I wasn't answering.

I told him that if we are to date again etc, that somethings would need to be addressed. His drinking for one. I told him I believed he had a problem and that if we could go on several alcohol free dates that would be a good start. So he said he'd like that. He wants to try to rectify things and make time for me etc etc but that he's going to the Philippines for a month. We make tentative plans for the upcoming Saturday.

Saturday comes and we don't see each other . He doesn't want to come to my cat infested place and I am not allowed at his house when his roommates are there. So we agree to give it a miss.

I have yet to hear from him since.

He's drawn to me?? Yeah....like a water colour painting left out in the rain!

I'm glad I threw that boomerang out...good thing I know when to duck!

I am thinking now how clever it would have been to say to him "Yeah...drawn to me like a bad conclusion or a cheap cartoon".

He's drawn to me alright...but I'm armed with an eraser.