Saturday, February 26, 2005

What a man what a man what a mighty good man

I know I haven't been keeping up lately but I have just had the week from hell. Seriously. I was very nearly fired and I had to do some major begging to get my job back. I have now been placed on probation until Aug and then at that time my boss will review all my files, my attitude and see if he can keep me on.

The reason I bring this up, is because this was a major crisis in my life and I want to tell you how Ronan reacted to all of this. I am sure by the title of my post you already have a pretty good idea. However, you know me....I love all the little things.

So this all went down on Tuesday of last week. I want to be clear when I say that I was 100% at fault and I cost the small company I work for nearly 10K. I was SICK about it when I found my error. Tuesday morning my boss was waiting for me when I got to work. This was when I knew I was fired as my boss NEVER arrives into the office before 10AM and I was at work for 8AM. Apparently he had been there since 1AM going over my files. I spent the whole day in job limbo after our discussion. I was crying most of the day. I must tell you that I love my job and I am very emotionally attached to not only the work I do, but the people I work with as well.

I came home a mess. I called Ronan and told him everything that had happened. He was so supportive. He knew it was my fault and he was trying to help me strategize to come up with checks and balances so that this sort of thing would never happen again and also trying to help me figure out if I could get another "good" job or just one to tide me over financially. This was all over the phone. And then he says. "Hey, do you want some company tonight? I'd like to come over and see if I can cheer you up or just hold you through this."

I melted. Of COURSE I wanted him to come over. I wanted to be held and comforted and to bounce ideas off of someone. I really wanted someone who would say "It will be alright".

So he came over and we went for a very long walk. I love our evening walks. They are very romantic to me and this one, though not romantic, was so important to me. He told me about how he switched careers after a frustrating period and then went back to it later feeling refreshed and ready for new challenges. It really made me think about my own career path and what I really love to do.

Another thing too is that this whole thing has made me realize that I must plan better financially. Had I lost my job, I would have lost my apartment as well as I spent far too much of my $$ on experiences like trips and events rather than saving anything for emergencies.

Ronan spent the night and held me and told it was all going to work out. He was amazing. What I really appreciated was that he didn't automatically take my side. He understood why my boss would want to fire me, so did I to be clear, but sometimes I get wrapped up in my own thinking/emotions that I lose sight of the logic.

I am falling in love with this man. And for the first time ever...I'm not even scared about it.

Kwerkie

Monday, February 21, 2005

Koh-mew-nih-Kay-shun

Wozers. Lots to tell.

Firstly, as always, LOVE the comments! I might not agree with everything posted, but I love having it there to read and think about. All good stuff.

Aramous - we haven't even so much as smooched and you think you've come closer to sleeping with me?? silly! teeehee

Ok...so here is the deal with Ronan.

He arrived in Seattle with a bunch of lovely gerberra daisies lots of big big hugs and many kisses for me. He nearly skipped into the hotel room he was so excited to see me. Though we had only seen each other on Thursday night, he said he missed me. That was lovely to hear.

So he hung up his stuff and we got ready to head out for the rest of the afternoon. We chatted happily about my conference and the things that happened with his work over the last 2 days and walked hand in hand allll around Seattle.

Did a bit of shopping, lots of people watching and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. Back to the hotel for 8PM, shower, change and we were off for a romantic night. I had bought 2 dresses earlier in the day and tried them on and let him pick which one he'd like to see me in. He choose the slinky black one...which went very well with my thigh high stocking...y'know,..the ones that you wear with a garter belt. Oh yes...I was DETERMINED to get laid this weekend.

Ronan had bought a gorgeous Tommy Hillfigure button down shirt that showed off his chest like you wouldn't believe. My god this man is beautiful. He's in what I call "gay shape". Really well chiseled muscles but not a gym monkey.

So we both looked stunning. Off to "Cutters" for dinner and we were there right in time for happy hour! Hoorah! We shut that place down at 11:30PM.

afterwards we went to "Kells" for some Irish atmosphere. There was probably a live band there. There were probably lots of people there. Who knows...Ronan and I were so into each other it was like we were the only 2 in the room. At one point some random cute gay guy came up to us and told us that we were the cutest things since kittens and puppies. I'm taking that as a compliment. teehee We shut that place down too.

Back to the hotel for about 2AM. We didn't drink that much to be clear...I was pretty much drunk on Ronan and I think he was feeling a bit tipsy on me. Clothes were coming off fast and furious, sighs and kisses were plentiful. The nice thing about thigh high stockings is that when you wear them panties are optional. I opted out. Once my dress was removed Ronan stood there for a moment, half naked, just staring at me. I think he whimpered....or maybe it was me.

He removed my stockings the way every girl wants them removed- slowly and with his mouth. Lots of butterfly kisses up and down my legs and I was very well taken care of before he came back up the length of me to kiss my mouth.

Then he asks me if I really do care about him and if I am real. I answer yes to both and continue to kiss and caress him. And then it happens. He moves over me and between me and looks right in my eyes. I was shaking beneath him, wanting him more than I've ever wanted anyone else in my life. As we moved together, we were looking right into each other's eyes. It was amazing. He kept telling me how beautiful I am, how it felt to finally be inside me and how hard it was for him to wait this long. And then he says it.

"I love you Kwerkie".

My eyes FLY open. I think in my head - ummm...pardon?

It wasn't repeated and I didn't say anything. We continued to move together as passion dictated. Soft murmurs of appreciation, gentle caresses and the usual sort of pillow talk followed our bliss.

In the morning we went for round two. Thank GOD for late check outs.

All day Sunday we explored Seattle again. Then over dinner...I couldn't leave it alone.

I asked him if he meant what he said the previous night and if he in fact remembered telling me that he loved me. He answered yes to both but admitted he was frightened to say it again because I didn't say anything to it. I then asked about our conversation from Wednesday night...about him not really answering my question.

Well...he figured he did. I explained in detail why I didn't think he did. That's when we found out that we have 2 different styles of communication in certain areas.

Ronan has a very interesting job. I am not at liberty to go into it, but he does have to ask a lot of questions and get people to answer them in very creative ways. He often answers questions with his own questions as he's so used to doing that with his work. Ok. I can see where I will have to be sure that I am satisfied with the answer before moving on.

So Ronan is in love with me. Hoorah! That's a very nice feeling. I care very deeply for him and I do see the potential for me to fall head over heels in love with him...I'm just trying to be level headed about this. Ha! Like that will happen.

Muchos love to you all.

Kwerkie the falling in love fool.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The Purrrrrfect Valentine's Day and other things.

Ok...I know this has been a while in coming...nearly a week...but things are CRAZY busy. Currently I'm in Seattle wating for Ronan to show up so we can go and paint the town. I was here for work and he agreed to come and meet me down here on my last day of the conference and take me out. Hoorah.

Valentine's Day.

I am a fairly low maintence woman. I love all the little things...especially all the little things. My perfect Valentines Day includes (but is not limited to) the following.
1) Flower (s) -preferably gerberra daisies in ANY colour but white.
2) Card - this can either be funny or romantic...extra points if it's home made.
3) Kiss- a nice long slow kiss...that morphs into something more passionate! teehee

Ronan was late (this is becoming ususal and slightly annoying) but he arrived with all three of the above PLUS a cute monkey, PLUS a dance in my living room, PLUS he made me a beautiful streak dinner completely with potatos, peas and garlic bread.

This evening was soooo lovely. I had lit candles everywhere and we enjoyed our dinner and the atmosphere emensely! I love spending time with this man.

After dinner we went for a long walk, had some gelato and then ended up back at my place and in my bed. We consumed 2 bottles of wine.

STILL NO SEX!!!!!!!

This is now starting to really upset me. He'll do absolutely everything else...but he just refuses to be inside of me. I believe that on Valentine's Day it was mostly due to the fact that we did drink 2 bottles of fabulous Shiraz.

Still...the entire evening was purrrfect...aside from the no sex part. He was a gentleman, he was attentive and romantic and it was amazing.

Hoorah for me and my perfect Valentine's Day.

Yiipeeeee

Ok. Now is where I am getting a bit on the paranoid side. We had a date on WED and though there was a lot of rubbing and licking and kissing...STILL NO SEX!

OH MY GOD!

He tells me that it's a huge deal for him to have penetrative sex with a woman. That it pretty much means that he's in a relationship with them...well...errr...ummm...wasn't' that what our discussion on Saturday was about??? That he wants to be more commited to me...that he even said he was ready for sex etc....what the hell?
He cares about me deeply, he's not dating anyone else....but he wants to wait until he can be true to me. I have NO idea what that means.

True to me??? Does this mean that he is actually dating other women??

To be clear, when I asked him about it this is how the conversation went,

K " Are you dating other people?"
R "Other people? (laughs) What like 7 or 8 on the go?"
K "No, like anyone besides me"
R "Kwerkie, I'm not dating anyone new"
K "Oh. So it's the same old people?"
R "(laughs) Kwerkie....you know I care very deeply for you. Are things going too slowly between us for you?"
K "Well.,..you are right. We've only been together for 4 weeks...I should apply the breaks a bit"
R "We have lots of time. I really want to get to know you. I don't want to crash into something here....I want to take things slowly"


Is it me or has he STILL not answered the question of if he's seeing someone else or not? And...what the hell was all our lovely dovey talk about on Saturday?

I'm going to calm down and let this happen or not happen as the case may be. I am not going to accept being one of the links in his chain. I deserve better than that.

Kwerkie

(bitter with raging hormones)

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Great Expectations

What a week! It's been nutso on the work front, the family zone and the romance arena!!! I'm not really complaining to be clear...just trying to explain my absence.

Last week I had 2 wonderful dates with Ronan and I just feel like sharing every gooey detail with you.

The first one was an Ice Skating date! Hoorah! I had been suggesting we do this for over a week and finally he succumbed to my persistence. Right on! It would appear that I do have some influence over Ronan teehee. So Ronan arrived and I whisked him out the door just as fast as he came in so that we wouldn't have to wait in too much of a line up to get our skates etc. Holly Molly! We were probably the 100th or so people to get there. It was a very busy night at the ol' West End Community Centre for the Adult Skate Night.

I was happy to discover that I wasn't as bad as I was thinking I would be on the skates. Ronan was much worse than me and I got a special kick out of rescuing him from falling all the time. It was a lot of fun and very romantic. Looping around and around chatting about this and that and holding hands...the only thing that would have made it better would have been if we could have done it outside instead of in the arena.

After 2 hours of wobbling, smooching and skating we headed to the Megabucks for some Hot Chocolate. We must have spent nearly 2 hours there as well just chatting and joking around. It was during our discussion of music that Ronan asked me to go the U2 concert with him....in APRIL! HOORAH! He's a planner too! We then talked about going up to the Merrit Mountain Music Festival in JUL.

Now before you start thinking that I am planning our wedding...we BOTH made it VERY clear that should things go a bit pear shaped that we would likely have no worries selling the extra ticket to whomever.

Ronan ended up spending the night at my place again that night and we were both fairly sleep deprived the next day.

Our Saturday night date started out with him picking me up from my massage appointment out in Slurrey and grabbing a quick bite to eat. Then we headed back to my place where I showered/changed and got ready for the party. Another late late night but this one was filled with drinking beer, having long intimate chats and partying with some of my "young friends". I guess we are still in the beginning stages of being wayyy to into each other as we barely socialized with the others.

It was during our drunken talks that we admitted that we were crazy about each other and wanted to make it pretty exclusive. HOORAH again! In fact...this is how it went down. We ended up back at my place at 4AM and were making out etc in my bed when I said (not proud, just sharing) "Danger Danger Ronan". He was kissing my ear (danger) and asked "What's danger?". So, without thinking or filtering my comments....I said "I am in danger of falling in love with you".

Panic gripped me. What the HELL had I just said??? OH NOOOOOOOOO.

Ronan replies "Really? We've only known each other 3 weeks" To which I could only reply "I know". (more panic). So he continues to kiss my ear (told you it was danger) and he said "Well, I think you already are...which is good. As I am with you". My heart flip-flopped in my chest, he's STILL kissing my ear, and then I grab him and give the most passionate kiss I could muster in my 5AM drunken state.

The candles in my room, the sudden confession of emotion...it was all very lovely. Ronan then makes a comment about wanting to make love to me. I must tell you now my lovely readers, that we have been doing everything else but having penetrative sex. (and stupid me made a promise not to use my vibrator!!! what was I thinking???) See...Ronan believes as Bill Clinton does. Oral sex isn't sex. Penetrative sex is the only "sex" he sees. So we've been doing a lot of kissing...in more areas than just our mouths!

Ronan really wants (yes. present tense...wait for it) our first time to be very special as it is really important to him.

So. He makes this comment about wanting to make love to me. What do you think I did? (besides the obvious swooning?). I said "No. Not like this." OH MY GOD! I really DO say the stupidest things when I'm drunk!!! First I spill the beans and tell him that I am falling for him, and then secondly I say no to the sex I have been wanting for 2 weeks!! What the hell???

Well my friends...in my defense I was really doing it for Ronan. I just *knew* that if I had agreed...that it would have been the drunk fumblings of horniness and not the beautiful special event that he seems to want. So...because it seems to be so very important to him, I said no. I figured we'd sleep it off and go for gold in the morning. Well....ummm...no. It didn't happen in the morning either. I guess it needs to be by candlelight or something more romantic....or maybe we just need to NOT be hung over.

I appear to have one of those boyfriend things. Nice!


So what will happen to The Single Files if I am no longer "single"? Well...don't panic. I don't think I want to change the name of this as it's fairly clever and as we all know...there are many issues and things to deal with in a relationship as well.

Besides that...I still have to tell you about Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Let's Talk About Sex Baby - Part 2

It's interesting some people's definition of sex. I never would have really thought about it if it hadn't been for Bill Clinton...and I can't stand politics - of any kind really.

Here is what falls into the realm of Petting for me: hands touching ANY body part, kissing all kinds of places with the ONLY exception being that of the genitals .

Here is what I consider to be called "Sex". Penetrative sex, Oral sex, Anal sex
Funny how they all have the word SEX in them isn't it?

Like Bill Clinton there are a LOT of people out there that think that Oral Sex is just not considered sex. How can that possibly be? I don't care if you want to dress up the names to be something along the lines of "blow job, going down on, eating out, sucking cock, licking pussy, smokin' a bone, cunnilingus, playing the skin flute, taming the wild beaver, carpet licking, knob gobbling." What it ALLL boils down to people is oral SEX. SEX I tell you SEX!!!

Now....here is where it gets a bit tricky with me. I believe in sex that there are varying degrees of Intimacy.

I consider Oral Sex SEX...but I do think that performing oral sex is less intimate than receiving oral sex. I love both sides of that particular coin don't get me wrong...but I do find that going down is just not as personal for me. The flip side is of course, that I do feel that it is much more profound for me to open myself up and allow a man to place his tongue over my most secret places.

To be clear, I'm not that chicky in Clerks who gives out blow jobs like a bluddy door prize or something. however, because of my feelings towards them, I think that it's a sort of "beginner" stage to sex before going in for full on tumblings.

Also, depending on the position, penetrative sex can also have a few levels of intimacy.

Off the top of my head and in my own personal opinion, here are the following Intimate Positions:
Missionary
Woman on Top facing forward
Sitting facing each other.
Standing/Against a wall (this is FABULOUS. not only is it often extremely passionate but it has the added bonus of eye contact)
69


Here are the ones that are less intimate, but my no means less pleasurable
Rear entry positions (though there is a bit more intimacy in the side spooning position)
Woman on Top facing away

To be clear I don't want you to believe that these are the only positions in my sexual repertoire...but these are the ones that popped into my head as I am on this tangent here. Besides that...I can't give you ALL of my secrets!

So now my lovely readers...I want to hear from YOU.
Is Oral Sex considered Sex to you or is it part of the Petting realm?
Do you think there is a different level of intimacy between Performing and Receiving oral sex?
What do you think would be the MOST intimate position and what is the LEAST intimate position.

Note: By "intimacy" I mean a real physical and emotional connection being able to be made - something that becomes deeply personal to you.

Seeing Ronan again tonight...I think I might ask his opinion about these issues as well.








Tuesday, February 08, 2005

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

Last Friday night I was out with Malcolm The Eye Guy (TEG for short) and we got to talkin' about all the different labels that encompas the interactions between men and women who are romantically linked together. From what I gathered by our discussion, TEG holds the belief that there are no less than 5 labels between men and women when it comes to the blanket term "relationship".

So for the purpose of this entry, I'll separate our view points by colour.
TEG's point of view will be in lovely green. Mine will appear in happy orange.

1) Hanging Out.
This is when 2 people are just getting to know each other . They "hang out" at various events...concerts, parties etc...usually involves other people around. Some kissing/making out etc. All part of the Hanging Out process.

This is when I meet someone of ANY gender and spend some time with them with no romantic intentions/desires towards them. I hang out with my friends...not anyone I want to kiss.

2) Dating
This is when 2 people start hanging out but mostly just with each other and not have others involved in their activities/plans etc. More kissing, some petting etc.

This is when I meet a guy and I have romantic intentions/desires towards them. I want to spend time with them to get to know them, do activities with them, concerts, parties, sporting events and long conversations with them. Kissing and mild petting is all OK here.

3) Seeing Someone
This is when 2 people decide that they aren't going to date anyone else and become exclusive with each other . It's basically the same as Dating only you are monogamous now, sex is usually involved.
For me this is exactly the same thing as Dating. "Dating" and "Seeing Someone"....sounds like a laundry detergent commercial to me - I can't see the difference, can you see the difference?

4) Relationship
A little bit more serious than Seeing Someone but still a wee bit on the casual side...nothing too serious,...both could walk away at any time with no hard feelings/regrets etc.

This is where the sex comes in for me. We are monogamous, sharing and growing together with an idea that this is a progression to something bigger.

5) Serious Relationship
This is when the 2 agree that they are going to be working at the relationship with a future in mind.

This is where we move in together and build more of a bond for a stronger future together. This is pretty much playing at marriage for me to see if it is right.


All these definitions, explanations, opinions...but I'm pretty much with Juliet on this one. " a rose by any other name would smell as sweet". It doesn't matter WHAT we call it...when 2 people really like each other and are spending a lot of time with each other...doing the things that make them happy and comfortable...why do we need to label it?

I admit I'm a bit of a labeler. I have buddies, friends, good friends, crushes, and then of course there is the man I am dating/ or in a relationship with. These are all labels.


Have I placed any labels on Ronan? I admit I have. I'm dating him...he's wooing me. (and doing a great job of it too). I like him a lot...not just the fooling around parts - though don't get me wrong that is fantastic - but I really like hanging out with him in general.

I'm trying to take things slow and steady here and trying not to get too carried away with labels or stages of "us". I would like to see where this goes. Do I think about having a future with him? Maybe - it sure sounds like a nice idea, but only time will tell as we get to know each other. After all, it's not like I can just add water and "POOF" he's an instant boyfriend! However, having said that, it would bother me if he were seeing other women. I don't like the idea of sharing him in that regard.

I am blaming the lack of luster in this piece on my serious lack of sleep. Ronan spent the night last night - but before you get all judgy I want to be clear on the point that we did NOT have sex. I loved falling asleep in his arms and waking up in them as well. Even with my bed head and morning breath I felt sexy beside him. It is strange to share my bed with someone again, I guess takes time to get used to as well.


oh sooo sleepy.
Kwerksteroonie












John Donne said it best

I am CONSUMED by flashbacks from last night. Is it because I was denied what I thought would be the ultimate prize that I want it even more? Or is it that when Ronan kisses me, however lightly, in which ever area, I fear I may spontaneously combust?

Let me explain.

I had my date with Ronan last Wed night (see Jazz Hot Baby for details) and when we were making out like 16yr olds in the driveway of my apartment building...my mobile phone fell out of my jacket. Of course...being too busy with groping and kissing Ronan, and then practically floating out of his car to my apartment...well...I failed to notice my missing communication device until the next morning.

I left a sufficiently embarrassed message on his phone and a short while later he phoned me. We had a lovely mid afternoon chat and Ronan gallantly offered to drop off my mobile later on that evening. He shows up still dressed in his shirt and tie from work...my GOD the man has style! He delivers my mobile as promised and also advises that I left something else in his car. When I couldn't guess what it was, he pulled out a bag of Hershey's Kisses (the Valentine's Day ones) and told me that I left some kisses behind.

I won't hear a bad word about this! It's lovely and sweet and I did go a wee bit gooey over that statement.

*ahem* I do digress!

He must have made out for at least 4 hours. It was the most passionate, longest make out session I have ever had. At one point, I thought I was nearly going to have an orgasm just from him kissing my ears! And yet, with enormous amounts of will power, we didn't succumb to lust. (damn!) I mean "oh good".

Ronan is a romantic. He does not want our first time together to be only lustful. He'd rather it be more romantic, special, something that we could both enjoy and not regret. Wow...does he know me already? Of course I would regret sleeping with him so soon!

Still....it didn't stop me from taking off his shirt and tasting the skin at the base of his throat, along his collar bone and enjoying the luxurious feel of his bare chest pressed against mine. It's funny though...the more we both put the breaks on so to speak, the more I wanted to hit the accelerator! Or that could just have been from his fabulous kissing talents!

Still...John Donne was on to something there
"license my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below. "

Not bad for a man who wore lace eh? I would be tempted to throw in something with lips or tongues or mouths...I seem to be very orally fixated in my poetry.

The more Ronan wouldn't let me possess his body entirely, the more I wanted it. At one point I was actually experiencing a physical ache for him. I may have felt this way before with some man I wanted or was in love with...But it has been so very long that I can't actually remember. Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but if I *did* feel this way about a man before....I wonder if it was me being caught up in my own swell of emotions, or if indeed it was mutual. Is that what's happening now?

One of the many times I woke up during the night I actually found myself looking at Ronan as he slept peacefully next to me. He has freckles on his shoulders. When I kissed them he woke up, drew me closer to him, took a deep inhale of my skin and whispered "you're so beautiful". Too tired to answer back I just smiled and fell asleep.










Ghost of your touch

Ghost of your touch,
Lingering
Skipping fire down my spine.

Heat of my breath
Escaping
Pleading words from my mouth

Phantom of your kiss,
Haunting.
Silky waves over my lips

Burning of my desire
Urgent
Sticky wetness between my legs


Rise to my passions - fall into me and I will embrace you with velvet tremors.




Thursday, February 03, 2005

Jazz Hot Baby!

“Giddy as a school girl” doesn't even come close to describing how I feel about Ronan at the moment.

Last night I had no more than 15 minutes to get ready after my Yoga class for my date with Ronan. I had put out the clothes I wanted to wear before hand so I could cut down on any sort of decision time.

I ran home from yoga, hopped in the shower and did the quick once over. Clothes on, makeup on and hair…well….I did try….but my hair never wants to behave. It's straight when I want it curly, it's curly when I want it straight….and when I don’t give a rat's ass what my hair looks like it does a bizarre combo of straily!

So the look I went for was Librarian Vixen! My corduroy tan skirt fell just below my knees, brown boots set off my calves nicely, and my white button down top wasn’t too low cut. In fact…for those of you who know and love me know that when I say low cut top…it isn’t the Paris Hilton Low Cut Top but more along the Sandra Bullock Low Cut Top look. My glasses completed my look as L.V.

Ronan picked me up and off we went to the Cellar Jazz Club! We snagged some seats at the back and took in the club. It’s a pretty nifty place, on the small side of things with a real Jazz feel to the place…intimate tables with a single candle burning…low lights and a small-ish stage. This place is DEFINITELY a great date place! We could chat easily, be cozy with each other, people watch and of course, check out the Hot Jazz Music!

We were one of the first people to arrive and the last ones to leave. I have never felt more comfortable with another man. I felt very confident, sexy and an all around Goddess. It is really easy to talk to Ronan about everything! He even listened to me crap on about recycling, the environment and how I haven’t been to the Vancouver Art Gallery in 3 months! He shared his passion for Football, Baseball and traveling to various US cities. We both agreed that Chicago KICKS ASS and that Seattle is not far behind in the coolness factor. Neither of us have been to NYC yet but both would love to go. Him for the Yankees, me for the MET.

We talked a lot in terms of “this summer WE should…” and “I would love to share (insert activity/event) with you” It was nice…but both of us playing things a bit close to the chest as it were. We know we both really like each other…that’s not a secret. What I am thinking is “I don’t want to blow this” and with any luck he’s thinking the same thing.

We talked about the obvious chemistry between us and how that’s pretty exciting. Then he mentioned that he felt a bit hurt on Monday that I put up my boundaries so vocally. He wanted to assure me that he’s not the “typical” guy and not just looking to have sex. He wants to get to know me, and he won’t rush into sex with me and certainly wouldn’t push me into having sex with him before WE are ready.

I appreciated his honesty and had to remind him that Monday was only our 2nd date and that not knowing him all that well…I felt that I needed to have all my cards on the table as it were. I explained how in the past I tended to rush into the sex part and that a) that always meant the sex was crappy and b) pretty much gave the kiss of death to any hope of a relationship developing. I basically told him that sex was not part of “dating” for me…but rather now reserved for “relationships”. The entire time he was nodding his head emphatically and saying things along the lines of “I couldn’t agree more” etc.


I must say that he is doing a great job of wooing me. We’ve made plans for Monday – this weekend is hectic for both of us- especially him as he has a conference to host and football to watch.

*side note*
Paul McCartney is the Half Time Show at the Super Bowl this year! Raise you hands if you think this is the LAMEST entertainment at one of the most popular sporting events of the year? Ok…now everyone on the planet, please put your arms down…this isn’t an ad for deodorant!

Ronan drove me back to my place and we made out in his car like we were 16 year olds for nearly an hour! What a rush! The man says things to me that make my knees go weak…good thing I was sitting down!

I went up to my apartment at 2AM! 4 hours of sleep and I’m at the office playing around with airline tickets. My god…wish I could issue all 89 of these tomorrow…but I can’t. Any spelling errors will cost me $50.00 CAD a pop. Any accounting errors could cost me up to $800.00 US per error! YIKES!

How am I expected to concentrate today with the ghost of Ronan’s touch still lingering on my skin??

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Ok...I think we can pretty much all agree with vigorous nodding of our heads that I have not been the Mae West when it comes to choosing the guys I date. Well...STOP THE PRESS! I have entered a New Era and Area of the Gene Pool!

Ronan and I had our 2nd date on Monday night and I am still coming down from cloud 5. (Let's not get carried away here...it was only our 2nd date after all).

He came over to my place at around 7PM still dressed in his suit from work. YUMMY! Ronan has a very interesting job and though I won't go into to details about it, I am surprised that he has to wear a suit...but happily surprised to be clear. I almost swooned when I opened the door to see him in his long lovely leather jacket and his suit. NICE. One shallow point I feel the need to make. Ronan has a football/rugby players build and he fills out his suit a-la-Arnold Schwartzenegger in the opening sequence of True Lies. YUMM YUMMM YUMMMMMMM. (swoon)

*ahem*

So our date. We decided to rent a movie, grab some beer and order in pizza. Ronan is a single foodie like me :) FUN! This means that we are both neurotic when it comes to food...but especially when our food touches other food. I KNOW I have weird food issues and I'm OK with that. I'm just glad he's goofy that way too!

We go for a wee walk to rent the movie and grab the bevvies. Ronan is such a gentleman. Seriously...we held hands, he put his arm around me, it was all just very lovely. He carried the beer home...he's just very different from the last few guys I've dated. What a relief!

We cuddled up on the couch and got ready to watch the movies. We had rented "Cellular" - the only good point about this movie is the wicked "Sinnerman" mix at the end of the movie. Other than that...I didn't believe ol' Kimmy in her role and the new kid in the movie put his shirt back on wayyy too soon for me. Near the end of the predictable plot of "Cellulra" we just started chatting. We were more into each other than the movie. Nice.

Ronan asks me questions about my life and really listens to me. He laughs at my stories when appropriate and tells his own as well. I feel really relaxed around him...very comfy...but with a slight twinge of nervousness.

We put on our 2nd movie "Napoleon Dynamite" and chatted a wee bit before...before....Ronan leans in and kisses me and then BAM. That was the movie done. We played tonsil hockey for the rest of the night.

(See that...see what I did there? I brought up hockey and Ronan together again....nice touch I think).

Wowzer. This man can kiss!! Seriously...kissing is so important to me. It was a fabulous make out session!! He respected all my boundaries and put up a few of his own too. He doesn't want to rush things physically and neither do I. Hoorah!

We are out again tonight...live Jazz at The Cellar.

I'll let you know how that goes. And I promise to make it flow a lot better than this posting...I'm running out of time here.

A few notes from the comments on the last 2 entries:

Winter - Whereas I do love the All Blacks...I am more of an Aussie Rules fan....so SUCKS TO
YOU WITH NOBS ON!
For a guy you know a lot more about vibes and dils than I realized. woah.

TenDollarMan: Keyboard cleaner? You craque me up mate! Don't you work with computer
bits?

Lady K - I'll put astrix next to my particularly hot postings so you won't have to blush at
work...though I've seen you blush...and it's a very becoming look on you!

SundayMorningHangOver: More women talk about sex like I do than you are probably aware
of. Most women just don't talk to men about it like I do. Some may say I have no shame...and they'd be right! Teehee.

Tracy: DUDE. Do NOT take up smoking! It's bad for you! And you are phreakin' hilarious
btw. Loved the "If you want to date me click here" thingy on your blog. Laughed my arse off!...seriously....I have no bum now.

Ok....must get ready for tonight's date. Skirt, boots, low cut top! He's not coming up tonight....but I can still make him wish he were!

mwwahahahhahaha