Monday, September 26, 2005

Just too fly

in the face of popular opinion....I do not feel the need to justify my relationship with Ronan (as bizarre as it may seem to some) to anyone.

I think I need to remind my readers of the caveat I put in my first posting though which I suppose ought to be at the very forefront of my blog. There are LOTS of fictions in this blog...there are lots of truths too. You'll have to figure out on your own which is which.

For all the commentators....I'd like to assure you that I love reading what you have to say. I might not agree with what you post...but it's obvious that you don't agree with all that I post as well. I am still waiting for Giermo to come in and write something absolutely biting, scathing and sarcastic on the "Life's a Gas" post.

Poopey issues aside...I know that you only hear one side of the story from me and you must remember 3 things: 1) that there are TWO sides to every story, 2)I tend to exaggerate beyond reason and finally 3)....I'm not called KWERKIE for nuthin'. I have my own special kind of weirdness that I bring to a relationship. (poor bastards!).

Currently I am feeling very happy. The sun is out, the leaves are falling and autumn is truly my favourite season. I love the very smell in the air. I wonder if it is because my birthday is in the autumn that I feel such an affinity with it or it is just one of those things that is ingrained in me.

Tomorrow I have a shoot out at the O’ Kwerkie Korral with my family. There are some issues to be discussed between my siblings, their spouses and myself. In all of this my Mum has been the steady and rational voice...which will shock and amaze most of you as she is normally the one with the LOOPIEST ideas and "observations". It is for this rare showing of calmness that I've recruited my Mum as mediator.

I am making spaghetti for dinner. I wonder if my brothers will get the irony of that choice of meal. When we were growing up we were very poor and Mum made spaghetti with ketchup (yucky) for dinner most nights. I guess you do what you have to to feed your family on a budget that was tighter than a cat's ass!

I am not going to use ketchup as the sauce so don't fret. It will be spaghetti with my own veggie sauce. No ground beef sister in law Delilah is pregnant...AGAIN.

Yes that is right. Noah has turned 1 and my brother and his wife decided that they missed having a 'baby' around so they are due to have another one in the last week of May of 2006. If they have a girl they will be the most perfect nuclear family. I think that thought might actually kill me...until I remember that I don't like radiation.

Ah well. I'm not as jealous as that might read. I do wish I could have a family of my own someday and I believe that is in the cards for me. I just need to have a bit of patience.

In the mean time...the sun is STILL shining, the air is crisp and refreshing and the smell of the leaves makes me warm and tingly inside.

Mucho Gusto!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Life's a Gas

So things with Ronan and I have been very tumultuous. One minute we are kittens and puppies and the next we are fighting like cats and dogs. It's hard on me and my state of general well being and I hate the emotional yo-yo.

Tonight we were out on a date. On the walk home we are chatting happily about this and that and then...due to unfortunate circumstances and cuisine...I pass gas. This isn't the first time I have let one out in front of Ronan. We have been together for 7 months now and I think I may have farted in front of him less than a dozen times but all in the last month or so.

Ronan DEFINITELY has body issues. He refuses to admit that he has to go to the bathroom for a bowel movement. Instead he tries to disguise it as a 'shower'. This basically means that he runs the shower with very hot water while he takes a shit leaving the bathroom a very hot, sweaty and stinky place. It actually reminds me of this disgusting bathroom I had to use while on a road side stop in Malaysia. The humidity makes the stink worse in my opinion,

The first time we spent 24 consecutive hours together I had to 'do a #2' at his place. This wasn't something I was particularly comfortable with...but I am human and I know that we ALL pass waste through natural and NORMAL bodily functions. I’m a regular sort of gal…I wasn’t going to hold it and have it all back up.

This was a horrible to Ronan. He could NOT get over that I used his bathroom to "do that!". I'm sorry...I didn't realize that I had to leave his apartment and walk 3 blocks to the nearest public toilet at the Pizza Hut down the street.

He is completely upset that I farted in front of him tonight. I have tried to explain to him that I am HUMAN and not some sort of phreak that just farts at will. Still he is not comforted. In fact...he's extremely upset and claims that I have a considerable lack of respect for him if I could 'do that' in front of him.

Right now...even as I type....he is in my bathroom with the shower running. Does he think that I am THAT stupid to believe that he is having a 1AM shower???? NO. He is clearly taking a shit and using the shower to try to hide the fact that he has to go to the bathroom.

I am tired of trying to be someone I am not. I am tired of him thinking that women should never admit to having a bowel movement EVER or worse...fart!!!!

Now I want to be clear here. It’s not like I’m lifting up one leg, aiming my ass a him and letting one rip. It’s not like I’m pining him down and farting on his head, nor it it something I’m pushing out with great force and effort. These are the ones that escape before you can get to the bathroom or just sort of sneak up on you. These are the farts that come from eating spicy foods and rumble around in your tummy causing you pain that you simply must let go. It’s not like I’m PLANNING on farting or doing it on purpose for any reason.

When is it OK to fart in front of your partner? Ever or Never? If I can't be 100% comfortable with someone and experience all the normal bodily functions that occur with my lover WITHOUT them phreaking out...then I don't want to be with that person in a relationship.

Aren't we supposed to accept each other including all our faults and foibles? Doesn't Ronan know that I am human like him? Does he think its "normal" to hide the fact that you need to go to the bathroom??? Or worse...hold it for abnormal amount of time because you are too embarrassed or self conscious to use a public toilet….even to take a pee????

There was all this grandiose talk of getting married and having kids at one point. What does he think happens in the delivery room? Am I to try and pretend that having babies is not a bloody and messy piece of work? 97% of women defecate during delivery. This is not an event that they wish to just happens with pushing out a baby. I am sure that if he thinks that the mere passing of intestinal gas is highly inappropriate, disrespectful and indeed SOOOO offensive...then clearly having a baby would be beyond a insult!

The shower is still going and I have just heard the toilet flush....he must be done his 'shower'.

More on stupid fear of natural functions later.

Kwerkie - mad as shit!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The start of a brand new day

I believe in beginngs. Even when things are ending I think that it's only a beginning...if I didn't think that then I'd probably go mad.

So Ronan and are back at the beginning again. I don't want to go on too much about it as I have been reading my past entries realizing only now just how much I complained. Instead...I wish to focus on another beginning in my life.

I have been given MORE responsibility at work. Yes that's right...despite my rather large mistake at work I have finally been forgiven. I am staying in Vancouver and I will be taking on such arduous tasks as doing ALL the sales call, ALL the trade shows and running our smaller Festival. I am still expected to do about 20 groups though to be honest my personal goal would be closer to 25 groups along with the organizing of the Festival.

I am also beginning a new regime at the gym. It's true...more intense, more cardio and more sticking to my diet. I am feeling rather portly today and depsite the small comfort that my size 14s still fit...I am not happy with the distrubution of my weight. So I need to get down to business and sort this body out! To be's been since I've seen Lady K 2 weeks ago that this has been plagueing me. She looks soooo good! I would like to try to improve my health as well.

Another beginning will be this blog. I know that the statement seems a bit odd as how can I begin something that I started a year ago...but I am going to make more efforts to be clearer in my writing and to get back my style once more.

The last few months have certainly been sparse on the posting front and most of it is just complaining whiny crap!

Soooo...out with the old garbagee of complaints on on again to the new fresh ideas.

I have noticed a few projects that have never been completed. 1) the rest of the monologues haven't made an appearance. 2) the Dating Citations/Fines have yet to be fully complied and explained and lastly....the Dating Rules themselves have been trapped in my mother's computer for far too long. I have demanded their relase! Chuck Norris is in negotiations right now.

Ok my lovies....more quality soon!