Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Fuck you Plato

I'm going to just take a wild guess and assume that Plato was gay...or at the very least he teetered on the homosexual end of bisexuality.

The reason I am feeling so hostile towards the father of Platonic relationships is that clearly Plato had no women in his life who were just his friends. Not really. I speculate that IF in fact he was cordially acquainted with women, he did not consider them his equal and therefore, the friendship was likely slanted in the same matter as that of the Leaning Tower of Pisa is thought of to have a wee bit of a lilt. Furthermore, I'm guessing that in Plato's patriarchal society the idea that men and women could 'just be friends' probably seemed as natural as a Spartan farming. Oh sure it's possible, but would Octavious really get to know Portia's brain and would the Spartan's figs be hand plucked from the tree or hacked off with a sword?

I am also reminded of Billy Crystal's speech in "When Harry Met Sally" about how men and women can't just be friends and he gives a variety of reasons about sexual tension, attraction and jealousy. There is always someone who is lustful towards the other person or some such thing like that.

What I have recently encountered is that one of my treasured male platonic friends has been believing the erroneous dream that I was lusting after him. I know...seems so strange even when I type it out.

Let me give you some history here. It's true that about 2 years ago I had a crush on Leroy - he's witty and handsome and pretty much a good guy. But he was dating a friend of mine at the time so naturally I had to push my feelings aside. Then a funny thing happened. While he was still dating my friend, I found out that Leroy - who had always been very vocal about NOT wanting to have kids- had taken that belief to the ultimate extreme and underwent a vasectomy.

Now I'm not sure if I made myself completely clear about my views, desires and in fact NEED to have a family of my own. Babies have been much on my mind over the last year or so as I am acutely aware that I am in fact getting on in age and that if I want to have a child (or two??) then I need to be planning for this in the next 2-3 years if only for my own health (both mental and physical). This is such a huge issue for me, such a major 'deal breaker' that upon hearing the news that Leroy had been side line crush got totally sacked!

That is not to say that I stopped caring about Leroy altogether nor did his sudden single status change my feelings for him. In fact, in the first few months of his singleness our friendship grew closer and I came to think of him as much like one of my older brothers - though perhaps a bit more open minded than both of my brothers. Someone with whom I could discuss relationship stuffs, sex issues and work happenings with very little fear of judgment.

The funny things about knowing friends and getting closer to them, is that sometimes, just sometimes, you see their 'fatal character flaw' and accept them despite of it. Leroy's fatal flaw is any beautiful woman. Any at all. This includes needy women, psycho women, slutty women but most especially if all of these elements culminate into one 5ft7 curvy uber psycho needy slutty woman. (did I mention she's needy?)

So yes, I let him put his hand on the element of life and get burned by it (her). And then there is only so much you can take when you have to watch your friends fling themselves again and again upon the same burning element.

Now I will say this. I made a mistake. A case of mistaken identity which I take full responsibility for. However, having said that, I should have realized that when faced with a fatal flaw, it would have been better to just watch the drama unfold rather than become embroiled in it. So yes, I made a mistake. I mentioned to Leroy that this new 5ft7 curvy psycho needy slutty (single mum) woman was a gold-digging man eater who's only appetite for self preservation would be satiated upon landing a man who can keep her in the manner to which she had been dreaming of since she was a little girl. Someone who would not only take care of her every need, but also that of her infant daughter as well.

Of course, when given this information for me, who was always on the 'bro's before ho's ' train Leroy took my warning and cut her out of his life. Fine. That is until the aforementioned 5ft7 curvy psycho skanky single mum decided to give one more kick at the Leroy can. After weeks of incommunicado...Leroy gives in to the pleading (needful) requests of his latest fatal flaw.

It turns out that my advice was based on false information - a mistake - confusing one person and their comments for that of the fatal flaw. Leroy goes to great lengths to prove the innocence of the 5ft7 curvy psycho skanky single mum and decides that I am a lying conniving love-sick bitch.

Should I have just let my friend make his own mistakes? YES.
Did I make a mistake? YES
Was it an intentional lie? NO

Now...I'm a very outgoing kinda gal. I am free with my emotions which have gotten me into more trouble that I can count. I'm the first to offer a hug and even freer with compliments and in recent years I have learned to tell the people I love just that "I love you".

Now the funny thing about saying "I love you" to someone is that it's always interpreted by the person who hears it and it might not always match what the person who said it meant.

When I would say to Leroy (on more than 1 occasion and admittedly most of them involved alcohol or us having a heart to heart about life) I meant it in a platonic way. I never qualified my emotional statement, I didn't feel I had to.

Leroy had spent many nights in my bed sleeping soundly (and sometimes quite noisily) beside me and I never once so much as kissed the man! We cuddled as much as I would cuddle with any of my girlfriends or close guy friends, but it was never least I never once felt sexual tension.

The one time our lips DID meet it was HIM leaning over to kiss ME...and then drunkenly slurred a "good night Valorie" ...which was CLEARLY not me and most CERTAINLY his ex girlfriend.

Sooo....back to the topic.

I'm hurt, our friendship seems to be quite strained and I am being far too pig-headed to try to apologize AGAIN for this. I had already extended the olive branch TWICE and was rebuked with spiteful nasty emails.

So, again, Fuck You Plato. You never once had a girl who was just your friend and equal.

Though I do forgive you if only for your Army of Lovers concept...YES to gays in the military!!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Tsk Tsk Simone

This will be very brief and probably not written very well but I'm just reacting here.

I may have mentioned that Simone no longer works for the company I work for - she chose to leave us 3 days before our major festival and basically left us in the lurch - something that I thought went against her character but apparently not.

Anywayyyyy. I have recently returned from a trade show in Alberta and in going through all the items I picked up along the way I see the brochure from our competitor with Simone's smiling face on it. On the back of their one page brochure are a list of comments from their satisfied customers. I nearly fell off my chair when I read one comment from one of Simone's most decidedly 'satisfied' client - the teacher she had an extra marital affair with during her employment with my company.

Now Simone was single at the time of the affair but KNEW that the teacher was married and ACTIVELY pursued this teacher. I find it amusing now that the teacher still books with her...I wonder if they still carry on their affair and if that is part of the booking privileges with her new company. I can see the slogan now "ET&T - our agents will sleep with you to get the booking!" Is this only limited to men or does their loosely hinged moral door swing both ways?

Is the teacher too afraid to NOT book with her now? What would the consequences be for him? Would she tell his wife how she stole over to Victoria for a clandestine evening on wine, jazz and illicit behaviour? How about the time he; under the guise of a teacher's workshop, came over to the mainland and Simone called in sick to spend th day with him? Is his booking with her mean he's succumbing to some sort of extortion? Was there a whispered conversation between them wherein Simone hissed "Book with ET&T or I'll air your dirty laundry to your wife, your school and your kids!"

Am I too precariously perched on my moral high horse? I guess only if you consider the commitment between 2 people who are married to be frivolous and inconsequential. Tsk Tsk Simone - shame on you.