Darius knows I have a blog and has expressed interest in reading it. During our discussion this morning I asked him not to read the blog and gave him fair warning about likely not enjoying the context of the post about him. It would not surprise me in the least that he did not heed these words at all, read the blog and is the author of the 2nd "anonymous" comments. In fact...I have half a mind to call and ask him.
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After the phone call:
I asked Darius if he read my blog. His initial answer was "no". I asked "Are you sure?" To that he answered that he read the 1st line/paragraph but then decided to heed my advice and didn't finish the rest of it.
We had a lengthy discussion about this...I had to tell him that I suspected that he was the author of the 2nd anonymous comments. He vehemently denied it. However...it did bring to light the fact that I do not trust Darius 100% and he seemed to be very upset about this.
When is 100% trust given to someone that you are just beginning to date? For me, it does take a while to give over completely- the reason being having been in a relationship for nearly 2 years with a man who lied to me about EVERYTHING. I'm not kidding...EVERYTHING...he even made up a dead sister! What kind of fucked up pathological liar does that??
Here's what concerns me about the conversation I had with Darius: He mentioned that he was worried that I was breaking up with him over Anonymous's comments. This is simply not true and I had to explain that in great detail to him. BUT...I did tell him that I would not have hesitated to end things with him had he been the author of those comments.
The reasons being 2 fold. 1) I asked him not to read the post and he disregarded my feelings about this and did it anyway to serve his own purposes/satiate his curiosity. and 2) I found the comments to be ridiculous - written from a place of hurt and anger - written with not much forethought but rather as a knee jerk reaction to an emotional response.
So Darius is upset. He is upset because he just found out that I do not trust him 100%. He is upset because he feel he is being "blamed" for something he didn't' do. He is upset because he desperately wants to know what is in my blog post about him.
The bottom line for me is that I can't help what he feels about all of that. I am going to take his answer at face value and assume that he did not in fact read my blog or post the comment. I am going to just see where things go with us for right now. Maybe we are able to work on the issues we have, we shall see.
For the sake of argument...let's assume that he DID write the comment. He can't possibly tell me now unless he is prepared for things to end between us. I have told him before that the fastest way to end a relationship with me is to lie to me and for me to find out. There will NOT be a 2nd chance to lie to me once I have discovered dishonesty. No way.
I respect myself far too much to get involved with liars. I would hope that all of you have the same respect for yourself.
Kwerkie
1 comment:
A little late for this thread, but I've seen a couple of relationships damaged or ended because of blog "permissions." Basically, writing something in a public forum like a blog and then asking someone not to read it, IMNSHO, is manipulative. Essentially it is asking a person who knows you not to read something that any stranger can stumble accross. Yes the stumbler may not be able to identify the subjects of the posts, but then again maybe they can. Identification isn't the issue, it's accessability and control. If there is concern about how someone might take a comment then, either accept the consequence by writing, or use a different medium. Make your choice and live with it.
Love ya K-Bear
PapaBear
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