Stop. Yield. Wrong Way. It's all about the signs baby!

The night Lady K and I went out for her dinner....we were talking about Signs. And by signs we weren't talking about the vanity of Leo's or the stubbornness of Taurus’s (Taurusi?)...we are talking about signs/signals between men and women.

I am an avid reader of Desmond Morris. I particularly devoured and often refer to his "Human Animal" series. This book focuses on body language, how to read it and what it means. During the course of ANY social interaction we are constantly putting out signals and particularly to the opposite sex and ESPECIALLY when we are trying to woo them. So the theory is that if you study the body language of your partner or potential partner, then you'll have a better understanding as to what is happening in your relationship or even if the potential for a relationship is even there!

But what do you do when the object of your desire is giving you MIXED signals? Is it just all in your head or are they toying with you or just what the hell is going on here?

Women’s signals are pretty clear. We “preen” in front of a guy we are interested in. This usually involves playing with our hair, adjusting our specs, and face touching…mostly around the mouth/chin area.

We make prolonged eye contact, we smile, we throw our heads back when we laugh and we will touch a guy’s arm as we do so.

Fellas….if you want to know if the object of your desires is into you…tell her a funny story. If she puts her hair behind her ear, reaches out to touch you and throws her head back in laugher all simultaneously….she’s TOTALLY into you. That is the biggest “ALL SYSTEMS A GO” sign we can give without grabbing you by the lapels and laying a big wet kiss on you.

But what are the guy’s signs that show us he’s interested? I’m talking besides the obvious calling you.

Let me give you an example. In Sept I was at Megabucks waiting for a lavalife date. I was a bit early and got my bevy and sat down. There was a GORGEOUS man at the table next to me who started a conversation with me by complimenting my on my foot wear. ( I was wearing my super cool groovy red shoes). We just began chatting. It was easy and fun because I thought he was just chatting with me to kill time while he was waiting for his female friend to arrive.

I told this story to someone and they said “DUDE! He was so into you! You should have given him your ph#”. Now I don’t know about that. Café Dude admitted he was waiting for a female friend…but made it clear that she was JUST a friend. I in turn told him I was meeting a fellow. It wasn’t until my date arrived and went to get his coffee that I admitted it was a date.

Then the Café Dude said he’d back off. He also said that my date looked like a nice guy. This was true…my date was a nice guy…but a weak guy. His whole body language…the way he carries himself, suggests that he’s not comfortable with himself and he had “pushover” written all over him.

Café Dude watched our interaction. I noticed that he moved tables but sat in such a way that he could still see me. In fact…instead of being beside me as he was initially…he was now sitting across from me. I tried to pay attention to my date…but it was difficult. Café Dude was looking at me and I was looking at him.

Eventually my date and I left the Megabucks and Café Dude waved and smiled and wished me a good night.

Was he interested in me or just making small talk to kill time? When he moved across from me was he interested in me or watching a real live blind date unfold?

Hmmm. There were no real signals…just the small talk conversation about fashion and the cost of a decent cup of java.

I think that my signs are pretty easy to read. I am an OUTRAGEOUS flirt with guys that I am interested in. To be clear…my idea of flirting involves witty banter, making intelligent jokes and mild physical contact (read: touching his arm when laughing).

So...help me out here people. What are the signs that guys use? I’m not talking dragging me by the hair into the cave…I’m talk the subtle testing-the-waters signals.

Signs signs everywhere the signs…but I can’t seem to read them!