New Year Old Tricks

Alrighty....Here is the much anticipated entry about how I spent the last night of 2004.

SImone and I decided in December that we wanted to do something more Shi Shi Fah Fah than just the regular "Find pub, get drunk, snog random guy" thing. To be honest...I haven't really snogged any random guy at New Year's...but the thought was always lurking in the back of my mind.

We stumbled upon Last Night 2004 and thought we would give that a try. We even went for the full on VIP treatment. Yippee. VIP's! Martini bar...can you imagine me NOT being a VIP if they had their own martini bar? No...I rather think not! So we purchased our tickets and eagerly selected our elegant outfits for the night. I bought fancy pink shoes, fancy pink flowers and fancy undies (not pink) to wear.

I must tell you that I felt like I looked a million dollars. Attitude is everything to me sometimes...I felt wonderful. I felt beautiful and fun and all the good stuff I normally feel about myself. However...as the pictures I am going to post will attest to....my perception wasn't 100% matching reality. *ahem*

So Simone and I consumed Mac'ers for dinner (to aid with the soaking up of alcohol) and then proceeded to have 2 double martini's and 1 half martini at my place before heading out the Le Party. We were feeling pretty tipsy by the time we left my place.

We got about a block away from my Spanish Abode before I had to turn back and replace my funky pink shoes with more suitable black dancing shoes. There was no way I was going to be able to make any sort of serious damange in the dancing rug if I had continued to wear the happy pink shoes. So now the only colour to my outfit was my hip flower and my sunny personality.

We arrived by 10 PM, purchased 3 drink tickets and managed to make our way to the VIP lounge in time to be seranaded by the singer (forgot his name). He was doing a fabulous rendition of Barry White's "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby".

We seat ourselves on the couch and took in the crowd. Seated next to us were Ivy and Manny. What a lovely couple! Manny was our photographer for the night...all the pictures above were taken by him. I think it is particularly amusing the photo of Ivy and I...right out of Gulliver's Travels that one. Depicting my voyage in Lilliput!

It should be noted that Ivy and I are both wearing the exact same height heel...2 inches. Sometimes I forget how tall I am. Othertimes I can't walk by the rec centre without getting called in for some Basketball! When I was in Thailand these kids kept trying to jump up and touch the top of my head. Even on my train ride from Malaysia to Thailand the official at the Thai border told me I was "too tall for Thailand"...I think he might have been right, though I never bumbed my head once there. *ahem* but I do digress.

Back to the party. I was happy to chat so easily with Ivy and Manny. That night I also met a bizarre German named Ulof, a stranger than fiction Israeli whos name I can't even begin to remember let alone pronounce and the professional photographer of the evening.

A lot of dancing, drinking and discussion...that was the way of the evening. I had lost Simone just as the 10 second count down to 2005 was beginning and I was frantically searching for her! There was no way I was going to be stuck with the Israeli at midnight.

3...2...(oh my god where is she??) 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Ahhhh There is Simone! And with a Random Dude. teehee. Hugs and kisses and I'm sure the Random Dude and the Israeli thought we were lesbians. More so later when I was only dancing with women and not any men... because there were only women LEFT at the party. All the men went home. babies!

We went over to the Fairmont Waterfront hotel where we proceeded to wait TWO AND A HALF HOURS for a taxi that was never coming. I was drunk, swearing uncontrolably and making friends with the doorman and some random puppies that were walking by. (literally...who walks their dogs at 4AM???)

A limo pulls up. The driver gets out, goes around to the side, opens the door and a fat drunken slobbery man falls out of the limo and onto the pavement. The Doorman and Driver struggle with the man's large frame to get him up and keep him stable. The Drive hands off the fat drunken slobbery man completely to the Doorman as the FDSM peels out about 10 x $100.00 bills and waves them unsteadily in the general direction of the Driver. I spy my opportunity. I give Simone a wink and off I go.

I had been trying to obscond with several random limos earlier in the evening but had not met with any success....obviously...as we were not home and warm in my Spanish Abode but were cold and away in the lobby of the Fairmont.

So I had a wee chat with the limo driver and offered him $25.00 to drive us a mere 20 blocks. He agreed after I told him how much he looked like one of my favourite hockey players...Todd Bertuzzi. Fortunately for the Limo Driver...he happened like that I told him he was better looking than ol' Todd Bersmoochie.

I don't know if he just felt sorry for me or if I really was charming...but that Limo Driver gave me the best compliment of the night. He told me that I was the nicest person he had ever had in his limo. That was lovely. Especially as I have already mentioned that this guy is a bit of a stud muffin...I like baked goods.

Anyhoooo....safe and sound back at the Spanish Abode by 5AM. Simone on the futon and me in my bed...I was amazed that I washed my face, brushed my teeth and even made some neocitron (was coming down with a cold).

The following day I spent huddled in the bathroom getting rid of the 9 martinis I consumed. I even managed to pull my back out! This is what they don't tell you when you hit 30 - you really can't drink like you used to and hangovers take 2 days of recouperation!

What a brilliant start to the New Year. Sick as a dog, pukeing like a dog and putting my back out...like a dog??

It can ONLY get better from here!