We scheduled the date for 6:30PM. We didn't talk for a few days before the date but I assumed (stupid me) that all was going ahead as scheduled. The day of the date I get an email. He's going to work out with his buddies at 6:30PM...but he could meet me for 8Pm. Ummm...What?
We made these plans BEFORE he decided that he was going to work out with his buddies. Guess what I"m thinking...He's just not that into me if he's putting our date off. Anyway....yeah. For a laugh I decide to meet him anyway. I figured it would be a good way to test out my Inner Bad Girl.
He emailed me his phone number and we revamp our plans and he tells me that he'll make it up to me and buy me coffee or whatever bevvy I want. Hoorah! I have already decided I don't like him, now I'm just in for the free drink!
Ok. So I'm early (of course) and I'm sitting in the fish bowl that is the Megabucks on Davie & Denman. He comes up behind me and just starts randomly talking. Not Hello it's nice to see you. Not "Hi". There was NO greeting. Just "I had to park up the street. What do you want to drink". So I stand up, turn around and take a good look at this guy.
6ft2, fairly athletic , dark hair, pale eyes (greeny grey...nice). He's tanned...and he's leaning a bit on the "bad boy" look. Nice. HOWEVER...his gangster gold necklace, silver heavy link bracelet and GAUDY giant gold ring is just more than I can handle.
Well...I can't really remember too much of our conversation. This is not because of any alcohol involved...I drank ______ _________ __________ _______ _____ (10 points to you if you know what I had...answer in a comment)
The reason why I can’t remember all of what we spoke of was because my mind could not get past his GIANT ego.
I think I made the obligatory small talk. I might have told a funny story or two (or who am I kidding? I told a lot of funny stories!). He made 3 phone calls during our date.
The 1st was in front of me. The 2nd was when we went to get us our 2nd bevy (bottled water for me, frappachino for him). The 3rd phone call...well...that's when the gloves came off.
Serbian Gangster: "Hey Jonathan…have you eaten yet?"
Me: "Oh my god! How rude! Are you making yet another phone call on our date? You are so uncouth!"
SB: "Jonathan...old on a minute. (to me) Uncouth? What?"
Me : "Yes! Uncouth! A cad! A lout! This date is over!!!"
SB: "Uncouth?"
(I collected my purse and hat and started walking away)
Me: "Yes. Uncouth! Look it up!"
SB: "Jonathan...she's walkin' out on me man, hold on! Hey Kwerkie...wait a minute. Slow down."
Me: "DUDE! You do not get it?? Here's a dating tip for you. Making phone calls on your mobile is RUDE. It shows me you are not into me. And frankly, I'm OK with that. Good luck with your new career as a hit man."
Ahhhhh! What an immense relief to let that out! It was probably the first time I said what I was thinking on a bad date TO the bad date. And I don't think I was overly aggressive or rude.
Oh yessss...Kwerkie's Bad Girl is DEFINITELY out there now!
8 comments:
Grande soy low foam latte.
Gangsta boys in their thirties are very sad...
Chai Tea Latte, Soy Milk, Extra Hot. Hooray for me!
It must be funny going into a date already unimpressed, and probably much easier to walk out. Good for you!
Uncouth is very much a word. Was English his second language?
I think you should compliment the next gentleman you date on his couthness.
Among uncouth people, it's pretty rare.
I think I saw that guy on an episode of Manimal and if I was manimal I would definitely not be that guys buddy. I'd probably turn into a hawk and crap on his overly greased head.
Damn -- twenty minutes too late for first reply. So, which is it?
I have to assume Kelaine was right, given that I've only been to Megabucks once with you. Did I order you the wrong drink, and you were just too couth to correct me?
I'll make it up to you as soon as possible!
HOORAH!! Tinfoiled gets 10 Points.
I realized after speaking with Lady K last night that I in fact didn't leave enough blank spots to be filled in.
My fav bevvy of choice from the Megabucks is :
Extra Hot Soy Tazo Chai Latte - No water
The no water bit is a recent addition to the perfection that is a Chai Latte :)
Wow, what a fantastic ass your date was. And the problem is that there are enough desperate women out there that he will still continue to date, and may one day find a woman so desperate they will get married and possibly even procreate, which will leave us with Ass Jr, and so on. Sigh. Couldn't you have managed a quick, stealty vasectomy?
AMG
http://anonymousmidwestgirl.blogspot.com/
yah uncouth is a word. So is cretin. You gotta make sure you're dating the right end of the gene pool.
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