Once more for posterity's sake

Soooo...it's been a while since I've updated you on what is happening with me. A few good an a few bad things to be completely honest.

I FINALLY broke up with Jordan. What I mean by that is that *I* finally got it...and I got to say some pretty profound things to him that I really should have said ages ago. My friend card is full...I don't need to maintain a friendship with Jordan because what I was really doing was trying to disguise my friendship with him as a futile hope to get back together. Soooo...as of 2 weeks ago we are DONE! I still think about him but it's never in a longing context...it's more of a "boy I should have paid attention to THIS behaviour". I think it's like when I used to make up rhymes or other mnemonic devices to help me learn concepts in school.

I've let my health slide a bit but am back on track with diet if not a lot of exercise so that feels good. I really do need to keep my drinking in check though...I feel like I'm just drinking far far far too much. Chrissy brought up the fact that she though she was turning into too much of a lush and it made me evaluate my drinking too. This weekend I was tipsy on Friday and totally smashed on Saturday. I'm 35...maybe I should start acting more like that instead of a 21 year old.

I wonder if this is my way of holding onto my slipping youth, or maybe my drinking is the salve I'm putting on the wound that is my singleness. Whatever it is...I intend to stop with the boozing...as soon as I move back to Vancouver.

So that is it my little chickens -the date for the BIG MOVE is set. 13AUG I pick up the Uhaul and 14AUG I drive back with all my worldly goods and move in with Leroy and get things sorted out for school. I am just hoping beyond hope that Leroy doesn't change his mind (again) about me moving in with him. I really need for this to work out - I haven't lived with a roommate for YEARS!!!! I am a bit worried about how this is all going to work but I think that as long as we're both respectful and considerate and honest then we'll be OK. I do think it will be ideal for both of us. I will learn how to budget and to be cleaner and he will be a bit more social and accountable.

Having said that...I am still pursuing the co-op housing situation as a back up plan.

I am both excited and scared. I am also a bit sad to be leaving Chrissy here in Calgary as I've grown quite close to her and will miss the bejeebus out of her!

This is what I want to do...get my RMT license so I can at long last open the H3 project by the time I'm 40. If I'm not going to have a husband and a family of my own then I want to focus on my actual dreams and what I want to have as my legacy.