I am CONSUMED by flashbacks from last night. Is it because I was denied what I thought would be the ultimate prize that I want it even more? Or is it that when Ronan kisses me, however lightly, in which ever area, I fear I may spontaneously combust?
Let me explain.
I had my date with Ronan last Wed night (see Jazz Hot Baby for details) and when we were making out like 16yr olds in the driveway of my apartment building...my mobile phone fell out of my jacket. Of course...being too busy with groping and kissing Ronan, and then practically floating out of his car to my apartment...well...I failed to notice my missing communication device until the next morning.
I left a sufficiently embarrassed message on his phone and a short while later he phoned me. We had a lovely mid afternoon chat and Ronan gallantly offered to drop off my mobile later on that evening. He shows up still dressed in his shirt and tie from work...my GOD the man has style! He delivers my mobile as promised and also advises that I left something else in his car. When I couldn't guess what it was, he pulled out a bag of Hershey's Kisses (the Valentine's Day ones) and told me that I left some kisses behind.
I won't hear a bad word about this! It's lovely and sweet and I did go a wee bit gooey over that statement.
*ahem* I do digress!
He must have made out for at least 4 hours. It was the most passionate, longest make out session I have ever had. At one point, I thought I was nearly going to have an orgasm just from him kissing my ears! And yet, with enormous amounts of will power, we didn't succumb to lust. (damn!) I mean "oh good".
Ronan is a romantic. He does not want our first time together to be only lustful. He'd rather it be more romantic, special, something that we could both enjoy and not regret. Wow...does he know me already? Of course I would regret sleeping with him so soon!
Still....it didn't stop me from taking off his shirt and tasting the skin at the base of his throat, along his collar bone and enjoying the luxurious feel of his bare chest pressed against mine. It's funny though...the more we both put the breaks on so to speak, the more I wanted to hit the accelerator! Or that could just have been from his fabulous kissing talents!
Still...John Donne was on to something there
"license my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below. "
Not bad for a man who wore lace eh? I would be tempted to throw in something with lips or tongues or mouths...I seem to be very orally fixated in my poetry.
The more Ronan wouldn't let me possess his body entirely, the more I wanted it. At one point I was actually experiencing a physical ache for him. I may have felt this way before with some man I wanted or was in love with...But it has been so very long that I can't actually remember. Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but if I *did* feel this way about a man before....I wonder if it was me being caught up in my own swell of emotions, or if indeed it was mutual. Is that what's happening now?
One of the many times I woke up during the night I actually found myself looking at Ronan as he slept peacefully next to me. He has freckles on his shoulders. When I kissed them he woke up, drew me closer to him, took a deep inhale of my skin and whispered "you're so beautiful". Too tired to answer back I just smiled and fell asleep.
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