The Name Game

Giermo brings up a very good point from my previous post. Name calling is very much a part of a relationship...I'm not talking about the horrible names we may call our girlfriends/boyfriends when we are angry beyond belief etc (and I am totally against that btw)...but the pet names we have for people in our lives.

I do call Aramous "baby". All the time. It wasn't a fox pass that occurred because I was sleepy...I recognized his voice and called him by his pet name. I don't remember the last time that I didn't' call him "baby"...maybe it was within the first few weeks of getting to know him that I refrained...but since we've grown closer as friends I have called him "baby" ever since. (I am using the lower case b to distinguish the "degree" of babyness)

I call Pedro by a cutesy wootsie nick name that I have no idea if he hates or not. I have nick names for my girl friends too. Juanita is also Baby or sometimes Babycakes, Janice is Dude...so is Vera but I say Vera's a-la Joey from friends tone of voice. Even Lady K has been called baby more times than I can count!

Ronan did ask me what the difference is from when I call him "Baby, or Sweetheart, or Sweetpea or Sweets" etc and when I use "baby" for Aramous or use Pedro's nick name (which I can't reveal else it will reveal his true identity - which isn't fair).

Mostly it's an internal thing. It's the way I feel when I say it. When I call Aramous "baby" I have a different voice. When I call Ronan "Baby" or any of the other various lovey dovey nick names I use for him I believe my voice is softer...I feel like every time I am calling him those names to him that I am actually telling him that I love him.

I don't believe that Ronan was calling me by his ex's name to "get back at me" but I do think it happened because we were having a heated discussion. In fact...he's called me by her name on 3 occasions and all 3 times there were some pretty heavy emotions going on - especially yesterday.

I did talk to Ronan again last night...and we basically went over *EVERYTHING*. Thank god. I feel sooo much better!! I told him what I needed from a relationship, what I wanted, and what I wouldn't put up with. He listened to me without interrupting and agreed with everything I said. Hoorah.

He then talked about his feelings...how he feels vulnerable around me sometimes, that he doesn't want to lose me etc. He also talked about his defense mechanisms and how he can be sometimes insecure/jealous if another man is affectionate towards me. He doesn't have many female friends and the ones he does have are not as touchy-feely as me, so it's a bit new for him to see a woman be affectionate to just her guy friends.

Now...to be clear, it's not like I'm frenching any of my guy friends or groping them inappropriately in their bathing suit area. I am a very touchy-feely kinda gal. I love hugs and give them often. I am also an arm grabber or leg toucher when I am laughing at a particularly funny story. This is doled out indiscriminately...male or female - though I rarely touch strangers.

So the news of the day is this: Ronan and I talked it out. We both put our cards on the table as it were and talked about what a relationship means to us and what we want. We agree that we are on the same page.

One thing I wanted to point out to him is that we do have time on our side. There is no rush. Let's just see where this goes. We're both crazy about each other, we both have our own unique insecurities and as long as we deal with them openly and honestly then I'm sure we are on our way to building a solid loving relationship. Let's just take things as they come.