I am at a total loss and feel so low that I don't' think I could sink any further.
Here I am back from Sun Peaks and I haven't heard from Ronan since Tuesday night. Well...*technically* I did speak with him on Wed. Our 2 conversations were less than 1 minute long and he didn't seem to want to talk to me at all - rushing me off the phone faster than Japanese Guards pushing commuters on the Bullet Train.
He bailed on the lunch date and driving me to the airport to handle some personal and important errands. Whereas I understand that...I have not yet heard boo from him since. I have called admittedly too many times.
Here is what his silence is telling me. He's just not that into me.
How can this possibly be??? He tells me he loves me, we talk about the future together, all signs before WED seemed to point in the direction of a serious relationship between us. However...after making several attempts to call him - he has ignored me. I even pleaded with him in tears on 2 messages. Ronan has call display - he knows it's me calling. He is purposely cutting me off and this is extremely upsetting. I know that there is nothing I have done to warrant this behaviour.
If things did not go well for him on Wed why shut me out? Am I not supposed to be his Rock? The person that is there for him, to love and support him through thick and thin? Why face troubles alone when he knows that I love him and would do anything I could to help him?
This deliberate silence on his part is painful. I can't call him now...it's up to him. He has my schedule..knows I'm home tonight.
Part of me wished he would be there at the airport to meet me...surprise me. The disappointment was Acme Anvil Sized and landed right in my stomach when it was glaringly obvious that not only was he not there...but that the chances of him thinking to meet me were slim to begin with. I wanted to cry but didn't.
What upsets me the most is what I am hearing by his continued silence is that he just doesn't care.
Am I crazy?
2 comments:
Don't push things...let him have some space. Calling too many times can be a little off putting for guys (or anyone for that matter) - making yourself too available just screams desperation. Not that I am into mind games, mind you, but by not calling him, you will set in motion his insecurities and he'll get back to you sooner than later.
p.s. If you feel the need to call him constantly in succession but don't want him to know it was you, use the old *67 before you dial the number (it makes the call anonymous).
Well it would appear that despite this lengthy pouring of emtions - that all is well in Kwerk's world. I read this post rather late last night and went... UH OH!" and placed a rather hasty call to lend whatever support I could - turns out that Ronan was there and it was "Late" so well.... take it from there.... the call was well received though..... sometimes I rather find this stuff out via phone than a post..... damn it..
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