Witty title here --->

Not to put too fine a point on it...but I am feeling less than inspired for wittisisms today...or spell check.

I spent most of the day trying to buy a bathing suit - I don't think I need to go into graphic detail here or tell you that as like most women, bathing suit shopping for me isn't a fun event. Though I did buy a smaller suit than my last one - I am still 20lbs away from my slinky bikini. Actually...I don't think I would ever wear a bikini. I have barely enough breasts to fill one out and my ass just won't shrink as much as I would like it to.

Still...I am actually not feeling *that* despondent.

After my shopping I went back to Ronan's while he was at work. I put the stereo on and sat outside in his sun chair reading my book. 15 minutes later (I am guessing) I fell asleep. Lucky me that I did not turn Lobster Red and become the next pin up woman for the top 10 reasons to wear sun block!

I think I was asleep for about an hour...maybe less. I woke up to what I assumed was the loud and bloody murder of the 2 children across the way. Talk about instant birth control! These kids were SCREAMING their heads off! I believe they are fairly young...one is definitely a toddler - maybe 3 or 4 yrs old. The other I think is closer to 7 or 8 yrs old. Jaysus!

I have recently been pondering having children more and more. This is the first time where I have actually envisioned myself having kids with a man. I love the idea of having children with Ronan. With any luck they'd have his eyes, strength (both emotional and physical) and freckles combined with my temper, sense of adventure and my wee little nose. Let's be clear here...it's an idea at this stage. I also have it in my mind to go to Greece in 2007 for a much deserved and very real, vacation.

HOWEVER. Yesterday Ronan and I were in Crappy Tire trying to get some kayak paddles when this 4 yr old started WAILING. No reason...just started to bawl his tiny eyes out and loudly too!! That combined with today's monsters demonic cries....well...that put me off having kids until I can deal with other people's screaming kids! I mean...c'mon..let's face it! I know I'm not the most patient person on earth and I tend to lean towards the selfish side sometimes. (I'm a Libra afterall).

I just wonder what sort of mother I could be. I don't want to think that I will lose patience with my kids as fast as I did yesterday and today with the tiny demons.. Perhaps it is because they are not my children that I felt that way. Maybe there is some sort of immunity that you build up with you own kids. The father from yesterday's senario didn't even flinch. He didn't' try to correct the behavior, didn't offer words of comfort...nothing. He put his hand on his son's shoulder and pushed him further down the aisle. Same sort of thing with the kids across the way. They couldn't have been unsupervised...yet the screaming went on for at least 10 minutes...and I am NOT exaggerating. I looked at the time when I woke up and it was 5:15PM. I began to become concerned when the screaming got louder and longer and looked at the clock again and it was 5:25PM. 10 minutes might not sound like a long time...but if there doesn't seem to be an end to the high pitched cacophony of an obviously distressed child...it seems closer to half an hour!

I have two gorgeous nephews. Noel and Alejo. Noel is 10 months old now and cuter than Cute Cute McCute, winner of last year's Cute competition who's still batting his eye-lashes. Alejo is 5 weeks old and is probably the longest baby I have ever seen. My monies on an NBA placement by 2025!

I love both of my nephews to bits and pieces. I love watching Alejo watch me. He is beginning to focus his eyes now and I really believe that he 'sees' me instead of just having his eyes open to a blurry world. He's a lot calmer than Noel was at that age and I hope that he keeps his blue eyes. He's tiny and perfect.

Noel is starting to really explore his world a lot more now that he can crawl and stand and walk with assistance. Everything goes in his mouth and he's really babbling a lot now which is super cute. Sometimes he has this high pitched cry that I call "Talking with Dolphins" and that doesn't bother me as much as the hellians from yesterday.

I have heard that your body really does funny things to you when you enter your 30's and haven't had babies yet. I do believe that my biological clock is ticking softly in the background. I am aware of it...but I can hit the snooze button for a while. I have noticed a lot of pregnant women around...A LOT. Is this because there is an unusual amount of women who are pregnant right now? Or is it because I am starting to really think about having kids myself that I notice them?

Having said ALLLL of that. I am not insane. Trust me. I am not ready to have a baby right now and as much as I love Ronan (and I really really do), WE are not ready for that either. Ideally I'd love to be married for a few years before having kids and of course, getting married is not going to happen for a bit either.

So before I hear the pitter patter of little feet I'd like to hear the ding-dong of wedding bells. And before the ding-dong of wedding bells I'd like to hear the splish-splash of our summer kayaking adventures, the swoosh-swoosh of our winter snowboarding escapades and the chirp chirping of spring birds. Of course, I'd have to hear the question somewhere in there too!

Isn't love grand? Madly in love. Crazy in love. Love makes you do the strangest things! Love is equated with insanity...which I find amusing and appropriate. teehee. Just because I fantasize or dream about it, doesn't make me any less normal or crazy than any other woman in love.