I'm writing this while Ronan is watching Baseball on TV (BOR-RING) and also talking to a "mystery" person on the phone. I'm not concerned about the phone call...but the baseball?? Yikes!
Once more I was called by the dreaded Ex's name. This makes it at least 3 times now...though I am not actually counting.
Though Ronan says it's not intentional (and I believe him) it never fails to bother me. What is it about me that is so similar to his ex? Everything??? God I hope not. Though I guess if I am to go by the photo of him and her in Ottawa...then I have to say that I do like her quite a bit. I would hope that I have my own distinct personality and that it's more exciting and sunnier than his ex.
I have not called Ronan by anyone else's name. (knock on wood). Even when I am frustrated or annoyed at him I haven't called him by the German's name (seems the likely one that I would),
What happens in those moments when he's feeling frustrated that he calls me Hillary? Why why why? He says that this is something he did with ALL his girlfriends with the exception of his first girlfriend (naturally). Despite it not being intentional and despite this being a habit...I can't phreaking STAND it!!!
It feels hurtful. Like he can't be arsed to call me by my own name. I might try to look at it another way. That he only calls me "Hillary" when he's experiencing negative emotions (frustration, annoyance, anger) and that he's doing it as a subconscious effort to NOT associate me with those feelings. But let's be honest here...that kind of psycho babble works for OTHERS...but never for the one involved.
I could pretend that it doesn't happen "Are you talking to me?....oh I'm sorry...I didn't realize that you see as my name is Qwerkie and NOT Hillary" But then again....that won't solve this issue.
Grrrrr.
Any advice?
3 comments:
Maybe it's a twisted and secret plan to gradually supress all that is Kwerkie and remake you in the form of Hillary. Has he given you any previously worn woman's clothing? Asked you to wear a Hillary wig? Cut out her face and put it on your photos?
No? Then maybe it's just an unconscious brain burp that happens, particularly in moments of stress ('negative moments'). Not subconscious, unconscious -- no hidden meaning whatsoever.
If he calls you Hillary during an argument, you purse your lips and say "Kwerkie." That's it, you get a point and you both know it. If you flip out, he gets an easy out into "you always do that!" street.
There's plenty of great things to fight and worry about! This really isn't one of them.
Clive is sooo refreshingly British. Why aren't more pople called Clive? :)
I don't particularly like the name Hillary... reminds me of a certain ex-roommate Hellary. But barring my negative associations with catholic bondage, 18 yr old cello instructor seducing, commune crazy lesbians and just plain annoying ex-roommates I know you place more importance on words than he does.
I feel that for him he is showing you that he cares by wanting to be with you so much that while watching sports and being on the phone that he still needs to be in the same room with you... He probaly wouldn't get as upset if you called him by an ex's name...
Granted it's still annoying!
Well, not to put a damper on your "he's the best thing since I learnt how to masturbate" feelings, but it sounds to me like he might still be harbouring emotions (of what kind, who is to say) for this Hillary. Unresolved issues of some kind. How long did they go out? I once heard (and half believe) that it takes as many years as you went out with someone to get over them.
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