So we're at that stage now???

Ok. Admitedly I am writing this when I am very tired, grumpy and feeling hurt.

Ronan spent the night at my place last night. We didn't fool around...I wasn't feeling very well and we were both tired. No biggie.

I had the worst night's sleep last night - I can't tell you how many times I woke up and how many nightmeres I had. Ronan said he was up a lot last night as well. Both of us tired.

When my alarm went off I was soooo sleepy. There was no fooling around in the morning...I did not have the energy at all. I got up, had a shower, had breakfast and got ready for work. What normally takes me 20 minutes took me closer to 30.

Ronan drives me to work and then fake kisses me as I get out of the truck. What I mean by 'fake kissing" is that he just kisses the air in my general direction. I hate that. This isn't the first time he's done it and though I mentioned how much I dislike it before, I am certain it won't be the last. I'm sure he saw the hurt look on my face as he did try to call me back. However, it was too late. Ronan lets me off on a very busy street and we didn't have the luxury of a red light...just some pedestrians slowing traffic down just enough so I could hop out. I couldn't come back and it left me feeling rather hurt.

STILL. WTF??? I'm tired. He's tired. He has the day off and is awake at 6 30AM because of me. I feel badly about this but he does have keys to my place and the option of sleeping in. I am quite capable of walking to work as I have done for the past 2 years. He said last night that he didn't mind driving me in as he has a lot of errands to get done today etc etc.

So why are we both wearing the grumpy pants? Have we reached the stage where we just react instead of thinking about how things may be taken? Have we become that comfortable with each other that we no longer feel the need to woo each other?

Ronan made a comment about my appearance the other day - said something along the line of "would you have worn that on our 2nd date?". The implication of course being that I must have looked a bit "frumpy" instead of sexy and appealing. My hair was back in a pony tail, my make up was light, I was wearing kahki capri pants, a cute pink T-shirt BUT...what "ruined" the look was my runners. I didn't *want* to wear my runners to be clear...but I didn't have any other shoes at Ronans place that would go with my outfit...so the runners were my best option.

However, I changed for our date and looked stunning so all was forgiven.

STILL! It's not that I don't feel the need to look nice for Ronan any more - in fact, I have been on a small shopping spree and bought 2 sexy tops and a drop dead sexy dress...all to wear while out with him. Suddenly I'm showing "too much cleavage" to the whole world. Is there a happy medium here?

If I don't show any cleavage (and let's be honest here....I don't HAVE very much cleavage....it's all done with smoke and mirrors) then I am "not trying" or have "settled". If I *do* show what little shadow and curves I do have....then suddenly I'm being too provocative and he feels the need to remind me that he should be the only one to see my tits.

*sigh*. I am so sleepy - a nap will make this all seem rather silly.

In other news....I lost my cherry in regards to Sensual Food Sex. Thjs is ironic as we were playing with Mud Pie that was supposed to have a cherry...but it was lost.

I had never played with food in bed like that before. Well...truth be told it was on the couch...still! My point is that Food and Sex go together quite well and it was a lot of fun to play and experiment and tease. The ice cream was just the right amout of cold (for me) and I found the whole thing to be very exciting!!!

I do not reccomend whip cream from a can...blech. The real stuff is what you need - fluffy and light and less chemically. Chocolate is a fabulous diping sauce for "peaches" and "bananas' (ok...corny I know but I'm trying to work with the whole food theme).

Lady K mentioned something about toothpaste (she read it somewhere) and though that might give you all the tinglies...I do think it brings a whole new meaning to "oral sex". teehee.

Best go for now...I'll expand on this another time.