Rate Of Exchange

I spoke with Simone today about my weekend with Jon and I was surprised at the squishy nosed expression she gave me when she told me "But you've already slept with him".

Have I given in by giving it up? Have I cashed in before my stock has risen? What is the going rate for when it's OK to exchange syliva and other bodily fluids?

It's true I haven't given my heart out to Jon...(yet?) I am feeling sufficiently wary about doing that. I wonder if he has a drinking problem...we have yet to have an alcohol free date, and most of our dates have been a bit heavy on the drinking. I am also aware that he's pretty stressed out with school and whereas I don't want to be an added pressure for him...I'm not going to let him be shitty towards me cuz he's stressed.

I think I'm pretty low maitence as a girlfriend. Jon laughed when I said this as his experience is that women who think they are low maitenence are usually the opposite. Is it considered high maitenence to want to have a 5 minute chat with him once a day? Is it high maitenence to want to see him once a week? Maybe it is during the tail end of the semester.

Normally when I sleep with a man I feel a decided shift in power...usually not in my favour. With Jon I don't feel like I've given that up at all. In fact, I feel like I hold more personal power now that we have slept together than before. Strange. On Sunday morning when Jon grabbed me and intwined his fingers in mine while we made love...I felt at once very sexually excited and very emotionally calm. For the first time in a very long time...I felt that I was sharing myself with a man instead of giving myself up to him or taking anything from him. I left his scent on me all day...I wanted to keep that feeling as long as possible.


Isn't that what a relationship is supposed to be? Give and Take? This felt more like an even exchange to me.

I'm trying; like most people, to get in on this commodity called "love" and probably like most, I'm a bit of a nervous investor. I like to see significant potential for positive gain before I commit myself fully to a particular stock. I'll keep my eye on this one and let you know the dips and rises and how the market is fairing in general.

Did I mention that Jon is a 4th year Commerce Student at UBC?

Kwerkie