The morning progresses as usual. I fed the grumpy hungry kitty, I made my way into the shower suffering the initial cold blast of water before melting into the heat. I paid special attention to detail while washing my body. I thought about every part of myself.
I have nice arms...they are getting stronger - I could clearly see the indent of my tricept. I shaved under my arms, the blade was new. I washed my stomach and was proud that it was shrinking. I noticed my stretch marks and I thought they looked like old war wounds.
I washed my thighs and admired my tatoo. I washed my calves and spent extra minutes massaging them...I believed my calves to be one of my best features. I shaved my legs...the stubble fell into the tub and was washed away.
I decided to shave my labia...I knew it won't be seen that night...but being freshly shaved made me feel sexy. The skin so smooth I couldn't stop touching it.
Thoughts were flowing randomly in my head.
Am I going to meet her? I don't know. Is this possible? Anything is possible.
Will she bring him? She won't bring him. Yes she will. Yes. He will be there. What's he like? She has a great smile. I wonder how soft her lips are?
My day progressed. Many times I thought of her and what would happen when we meet. Many times I thought about not showing...about emailing her and letting her know I couldn't do it. My mind raced for a plausible excuse. The truth was that I DID want to meet her but I was scared.
I took a few deep breaths. I pulled up her picture. She's very cute. I opened my hotmail account...totally prepared to write her a lame-ass email. And then...quietly, but insistently, I heard Anais in my ear. "Are you a woman of your word?" The answer. "Yes". Anais' voice caresses me "Oui. C'est maitenent." It is now.
I pushed thoughts of Marcia out of my mind to continue with my day. I ratioinalized the meeting. Just some people that I will see if I click with. Drinks at the bar. No big deal.
I arrived unprecidentally early. My nerves were now showing...my hand shook slightly as I reached for my glass of shiraz. Everyone walking by or coming into the restaurant made my heart race.
And then they arrived. A normal looking couple. Was it them? She's slimmer than I had thought, positively athletic. I felt too tall. I felt too big. I reached for my glass of wine and gulped liquid courage.
They are conversing with eahother in the way one might expect. I imagine the conversation going along the lines of "Is that her? Yes that's her I think...her hair is shorter. She doesn't really look like her photos. No she doesn't. Still, let's see what she's about."
Marcia approaches me. I felt glued to the stool. A deep breath and I am up off my chair and shaking her soft small hand. I am aware that I am talking too loudly and too fast and I have no way of stopping it.
We walk over to where Graham is sitting. They make room for me and I sit at the end of our trio. I am taking her in with my eyes. From her photos I thought her cute, pixie like almost...it was her smile. In person Marcia is a strong confident woman. I was impressed with her handshake...firm and not at all princess like. She went from being cute to being stunning. A slight but important distinction in my mind.
We begin talking about our days and the normal sort of small talk you would expect I suppose. And then Graham announces he will leave us alone and out he goes for a cigarette. I sight with relief. I have never done this before. I had no idea what to expect. I wanted to be comfortable with Marcia first.
Marcia gets right down to business. I am aware that the bar staff can hear our conversation and that bothers me at first. Then I simply relax. Talking is one thing I enjoy and normally no subjet is taboo...why is this any different? She is very matter of fact, very honest and I though I don't express it to her, that meant a lot to me.
We establish what we are each looking for. I feel a slight disappointment as I the more I talk with Marcia the more attracted to her I am. Marcia is not really looking for one on one, but rather a third party to share with Graham. It is clear that Graham's role is strictly with Marcia and that makes me feel very comfortable. Still...I am clear that I would like my first time to be one on one to learn, to explore.
Graham joins us once more and the coversation between the 3 of us is easy and fun. We talk about my writing, about the US elections, about their experiences.
They are a loving couple...this is very clear. The bond between them is lovely, you can feel it and it made me smile many times. I am more and more intrigued by the two of them. I can smell Marcia's perfume...I want to touch her but I don't.
They gave me advice on how to tell the difference between a woman and a man posing as a woman. The information they passed on was priceless. Things I never would have considered. I felt like this showed how naiive I am. Still, I
made many mental notes and felt a real affinity towards Marcia and Graham.
I don't think I could have asked for a better first time meeting than Marcia and Graham. When I heard about several of their stories and experiences, I thanked the Universe over and over again for providing me the opportunity to meet them. I doubt if there are many like Marcia and Graham, 2 completely normal people who's love for eachother is unconditional and their support for eachothers sexuality is amazing.
The evening came to an end with Graham picking up the tab. I felt a bit awkward about this but had not idea how to step in there. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.
On the walk home I felt an enormous confidence exude from me. One of the things Marcia said to me that kept floating around and around in my head was that "Once you experience it, you'll have a different look about you. Women will see it. Like you have a different wisdom in your eyes and you'll get hit on by all sorts of people."
I was walking behind 2 girls in their mid 20's. One girl had on a rather short skirt and it acentuated her lovely legs. As I passed by them I compliented the girl with the skirt. "You have fantastic legs", I say as I walk by them. The girl blushes a deep shade of red and thanks me.
I was smiling the whole way home. A step in the right direction. A positive experience to get me started on this road of discovery.
I can't express my gratitude enough to Marcia and Graham for the excellent coversation, the great company and the wonderful advice. Once I have 'cut my teeth' as it were, they should expect to hear from me and see if we can click as well in the bedroom as we did up at the bar.
A new road to go down, and any trepidations I had were put at rest by that one meeting. I am excited for this journey of discovery. I'll keep you posted.
Hugs and Kisses
Kwerkie
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