Breaking up with someone is never a particularly pleasant event but there are some things in life that are inevitable. The important thing is to be as honest as you can be without ripping the other person’s heart out.
Stll, there are a few things about breaking up that I don’t understand.
1) Why does the breaker always seem to want to remain friends with the breakee? They don’t want the romantic relationship, but they always request a friendship. Now admittedly friendships are easier to maintain than any romantic dalliance, but why bother really? If you’ve decided that you aren’t going to fall in love with the other person for whatever reason, why keep them along? It’s like going fishing after you’ve eaten a big meal and catching a beautiful plump fish that you have no intention of eating, having it troll along behind the boat, still alive, but with a large hook through it’s lip.
Sometimes hanging on is more painful than letting go. Your fists are clenched, muscles tight to the point of extreme discomfort and the salt of your sweat burning into your eyes. All of this could just stop if you simply just let go.
2) The other classic mystery. “It’s not you it’s me.”
What kind of crock of shit is that? Of COURSE it’s the other person. It’s not as if they are a bad person, they just don’t jive with what you had in mind for a future together. It is unlikely that you are going to change to keep this not-so compatible person with you. Well…not unless you are completely desperate, a glutton for punishment or suffer from the lowest self-esteem going. You changing would compromise your personal integrity… and no good could come of that. So just admit it, be honest. “I just don’t see this going in a direction I want to pursue. End of story. You don’t NEED to go on and on about how great they are…if they had any sense of self they would KNOW they are fabulous and they don’t need some guilt-ridden gobshite telling them that there are other fish in the sea. Buddy…do I LOOK like a carp?
The one I use a lot…and I’m not proud here…I’m just sharing. The one I tend to rely on is The Fade Out. It starts out innocently enough. A few un-returned phone calls…and then when I am caught at home…a good chat with the right amount of non committal talk about meeting up for coffee or drinks or a movie or just about anything they suggest. And always with the “I’m really busy right now with work or family or friends or or or…” and then the “yeah…I’ll give you a call sometime” And then you hang up, make the face and complain to your friends about what a pain it is that the person called you. Of course, HONESTY wouldn’t be the best way to end this…let’s just drag it out and hope they don’t notice that I never do the things I said I would do.
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