Dan The Man Brown

I think I might still be in shock. Please don't pinch me though...I don't go in for S&M.

Ok Dan...this is for you.

Like many people I have a few favourite past times that I enjoy on a regular basis and when news comes to me that something I enjoy may come to an end I do what most people do. I gasp. I pout. I rant "what about meeee??". And then, then I do something that I should have done ages ago. I write and express my opinion about what is going on. Sometimes this works, sometimes it wasn't worth it and sometimes, just sometimes, it pays off in the strangest way.

When I read that Dan Brown wasn't going to be posting on the CBC.ca Viewpoint page I did all of the things above. I composed my letter during business hours when I ought to have been sending 120 pre-pubesent kids to a New Orleans Jazz Festival but instead of working I wrote to a man I've admired for some time and who's columns I thoroughly enjoyed.

It wasn't the best letter I've ever written. I was aware of perhaps sounding too formal, but my disappointment at the news was so close to the surface that I dared not let my emotions rule the correspondance.

And then something unexpected happened. (oh my goodness..I think I just heard Kate Blanchet's voice in my head..."the ring abandoned Gollum"). *ahem*

Dan Brown wrote me back.

Like many of his collumns, his letter to me was friendly and more conversation-esque rather than bland letter writing. Unbelieveable News. He cares. He cares about what people think of his writing and he's happy to get feedback.

I remember once writing to a Very Famous International Author after meeting her here in Vancouver at the Writer's Festival some years ago. I spent a good 3 hours with this woman, we exchanged ideas, we even shared a bottle of merlot. With her help 3 of my short stories were published. I wrote her a Thank You note and expressed again the influence her books had on me in my formative years. I got a reply from her publishing house. It was stale and the letter wreaked of moths, old tea and disdain. I wanted my $75.00's back for the wine.

Clearly a Very Famous International Writer could not reply to all her fan mail. Clearly she meets a lot of inspired people at Writer Festivals around the world. Still...this generic letter left a bad taste in my mouth and I remembered that I didn't much care for the merlot we shared either.

I want to be clear here and explain that whereas myself and a select few of my circle of friends actually know and appreciate who "our" Dan Brown is....I am unsure whether or not he has been encumbered with the title of "Very Famous"by the rest of the world. However, I would like to believe that when (yes...when) Dan Brown becomes a Very Famous Author (National or International) he would remember someone with whom he pounded back a $75.00 bottle of merlot while pouring over selections of erotic literature on which he offered suggestions and advice.

Forthose of you who are going to post to this blog and inform me that Dan Brown is already a Very Famous International Author...I refer you to the following link by Dan Brown on Dan Brown. http://www.cbc.ca/news/viewpoint/vp_browndan/20040506.html
I haven't read the "other" Dan Brown's work....though interestingly enough a friend of mine who is currently in the employment of a pretty nifty museum in Italy (Coma stei Roberto! I never did finish my Italian Lessons) informs me that flocks of tourists are taking the piss out of a lot of the paintings there and insisting on the conspiracy theory in the "other" Dan Brown's book "The Da Vinci Code".


I have a date tonight with Chris the Cop and all I can think about now is what it would be like to share that $75.00 bottle of merlot with Dan The Man Brown and perhaps be his little Grasshopper*. Of course...maybe he too would prefer a shiraz or just some good old fashioned micro brew ale???

Can a woman who is about to celebrat her 30th Birthday in less than a week be someone's Grasshopper? If so, then I'd sure like to be Dan's.




*If you have no idea what I"m talking about when I say the word "Grasshopper" in such a context...then clearly you don't know Kung Fu!


Until next time.
Kwerkie