Lavalife is a world wide phenomenon. People from around the globe can sign up on it and meet locals or international peoples. I once read an article that a single dad from Norway married the Queen of Ghana having met through an online dating service. This gives you some idea of the distance that can be covered via cyber space.
Now I don't know about you, but I have a hard enough time having a healthy relationship with a LOCAL dude and can not fathom the obsticles that would occur in a long distance relationship. Yet I constantly being "smiled at" or emailed by men who are as "close" as New Orleans and as far away as Iraq.
There is one fellow in particular about whom I want to share some info. On Sept 13th I get a smile on lavalife. Without reading the fine print (ie where the guy is from) I read his profile and saw his photos and smiled back. Basically...I was so stunned by his photo that I couldn't help myself. He is; in a word, gorgeous. And this is just a run of the mill photo of the guy...at a BBQ, jeans & a t-shirt, his Colgate smile and sparkling eyes.
Sep 15th I get an email from Grant. The gorgeous dude. I then find out that he's a US Marine currently stationed in Iraq. He tells me quite a lot about himself. He grew up in S. Carolina, speaks English with a southern accent, Greek with an English accent and German with no accent at all. He enjoys reading true crime stories, classics like Shakespear, Donne and Sucklin, loves good New York Cheesecake, Chicago deep dish pizza, his family, his friends and his country. Would love to meet a woman who loves the outdoors as much as he does and who can cook with passion in the kitchen and the bedroom. Attached to the email Grant has given me access to his "backstage". This is a section where you have other photos that are hidden and you might write a few more personal details about yourself.
*Side note* I take ALL things from lavalife with the grain of salt. I believe that there are mountains of fiction with some grains of truth in these guys profiles. I would like to believe that they are all telling the truth...but I have had too many dates for that to be a serious consideration now. When Grant informed me he is stationed in Iraq I gave my screen a sarcastic smile and said "Sure you are buddy".
Out of curiosity (and I am a VERY curious person) I opened Grant's backstage pass. OH MY GOD! I wished I had any talent as a visual artist. I wished I could draw....with charcole I thought. There were a few photos of Grant dressed in his Marine fatigues, some with jeans & t-shirt, and then...then there are 3 photos where you can truely appreciate the beauty that can be a man's body. 1 photo Grant has his shirt off and is standing in front of a US flag drinking a beer. He looks like he's having a good time and is clearly smiling into the camera. His chest is extremely well developed. The man is CUT. He has a very well defined six pack and though I don't normally go for musceled dudes....Grant could make me change my mind. Another photo he's lying down on his bunk though it appears that he's about to get up....all his muscles are cleanly defined. yummm. The last photo he's in board shorts and it's a great photo of his ass! teehee. His body is stunning. He has no chest hair but I appreciate his look anyway (yes...I love chest hair on a man.)
I finish drooling over him and then I compose my reply. It is simple and not big on words but full of thanks, compliments for his obvious healthy lifestyle but has the regretful line "I just don't see us being able to bridge the distance or political beliefs". I explain that I am a real pacifist and whereas I know he's in the employment of the US military, I can not in any way, find it anywhere inside of myself to support the US ocupancy of Iraq. I wish him luck and well and leave it at that.
4 days later I receive another email from Grant. He describes the events in Iraq, what he sees on a daily basis, the suffering of the people on both sides of the "conflict". He further tells me that he's had a rough few days but to see my reply and my kind smile with my "pooling eyes of wisdom" (what??? is that from Suckling?? I hated the Cavalier poets....Lovelace, Herrick, Suckling....soppy crap) made it worth it. He says he dreamt about meeting me in a lush green park near his hometown. That we had apple pie, good conversations and passionate kisses.
Ummm...hellooooooo. Earth to Army Boy - Fantasies are great, and I don't want to take them away from you- afterall I have a sophmoric crush on a mere BOY who works at a coffee house....I dream about his soft lips and rough peasant hands....but c'mon. Let's not pretend we can build a relationship via cyber space and have it all be sunshine and happiness.
I begin to think that Grant needs some good porn mags (are there such things as good porn magazines?) or maybe a good novel or two to keep his mind off his surroundings. I am just not interested in trying to persue this in any way. What good could come of this?
I decide that I will not reply. I delete his email and move on. I became very busy and hardly checked the site at all over a period of 8 days. When I logged back on there were no less than 5 emails from Grant.
Most of them read like a combination of confessions and fantasies. He is "plagued" night and day by wonderings of me. Why have I not replied? The suffering of the people is unbearable on his soul, he hates the military but saw no other recourse for his education. He is home in Feb for 45 days. He wants to run barefoot in the park. Wants to play baseball with me. He wants to be quiet in my presense. He's done things he's ashamed of. He's seen things that have made him vomit. He held a child's hand who had less fear that he himself posessed. He wonders what was said to make me smile like I am in my photo. He thinks of me as his angel in my white dress.
His email is jumbled...thoughts are random.
I spend a few days reading his emails over and over again. I decide to reply in 3 lines.
"Dear Grant,
Whereas I appreciate all the kind things you've said in your emails, and the sharing of your daily life, I do not wish to persue this in any way. I wish you the best of luck and those quiet moments you crave. "
Grant replied to me in two words. "Fuck you".
Wow. Ok....NEXT!
So now...now I have a British dude. 45 years old. Single dad. Lives in Leeds (don't tell him, but I'm a Leeds United fan) . I have received 2 emails from him. I have not replied at all to them.
I think I need to put a disclaimer on there....LOCAL MEN ONLY.
sheesh
Part of the draw they may have (aside from my stunning photo I mean) is that I love to travel and have done quite extensively. I have been to 13 countries and 5 continents....I have not travelled *nearly* as much as I would like to. I mention this in my profile on lavalife and I think that my gypsy feet are pretty attractive to the average dude.
I am also the UN of dating. I have only ever dated 2 Canadians. Other than that...my dating history reads like a geography lesson. I can't help it!!! I'm attracted to unique individuals. I have dated a goofy Irishman, a strict German, a fun S. African, a happy-go-lucky Scotsman, a witty Englishman, a bland Italian (I know..I was surprised too), party animal Austrlians (3 of them) and one very sensual American.
I admit part of the allure is the accent....part of it is devling first hand into the culture and the other part of it is that they have all been very interesting men.
What is that they say about sailors?? They've got a girl in every port? I wonder if I'll have mail from around the globe.
Righty-oh. Nuff fer now!
Hugs and kisses and whatever else your culture requires for friendly goodbyes...
Kwerkie
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