Rightyoh! It's D day.
Well...to be honest, D day happened a while ago.
I finally broke up with Mattias. It's been rough...and we still talk. Had a bit of a set back last week when we did hang out and then...well...yup. Not proud - just sharing. Hard to believe that I can't just seem to quit this guy. I think it's because for the first time in a long time I was in a relationship that was 90% friendship before anything else morphed into our relationship.
Having said that, our relationship wasn't nearly as romantic as I would have liked it to be. Sure he was sweet and said lovely things to me all the time, but there was that certain 'je ne c'est quas' that was missing.
I think that many men equate Romance with large Expensive gestures. I would have to say that whereas a lovely romantic meal out or a bouquet of flowers (no roses for me thanks...please ensure there are a few Gerberra Daisies though) or even a piece of jewlrey are lovely and do in fact cost $$, Romance doesn't have to be all Grand nor does it have to be Costly.
I can think of a particular romantic night I had with Bentley. I arrived at his place and was greeted with such a tender hug and a lingering kiss that I melted. After taking my coat he led me into the bathroom where a lovely hot bubble bath was waiting for us - candles lit and wine waiting. We disrobed, sank into the tub and it was sooo luxurious to relax and talk quietly and sweetly to each other as the bubbles crinkled around us. Total cost might be $20.00 (wine + bubble bath).
2 1/2 Years and 4 Men later I am still saddened over the ending of Nelson and I. Ridiculous really as we were together only a short 4 months. He has somehow stuck so deeply into my heart that I haven't been able to shed him. Like a sliver that my body has absorbed but not done away with.
I have to decide when I want to go to Calgary. Will I do it at the end of this work season? I feel badly for my office...not that I am thinking I'm irreplaceable - but I think it will be difficult to leave them knowing that Gerald will probably retire this year and then the 2 new girls will be alone with Seamus (my boss).
Do I give them one more year? Go in 2008 and then start my life over in Calgary at the ripe age of 33? Surely by then Seamus would have hired someone else to replace Gerald and the 2 new girls will have a year under their belts and then they'd only have to deal with 1 newbie.
I don't want to make this decision lightly. I am worried that I am putting my sadness at my lack of love life/family life ahead of a smart career move.
I would like an easy button of my own.
PRESS
*poof* Mr. Right appears and we fall deeply madly in love, spend a few years on our own before having a family before I"m 38.
*sigh* If only it were that easy.
I don't want to "settle". I want it to be REAL. And as the Supremes have taught us "You can't hurry love".
As for the links...I don't even know how to manually put them in - Sonny did that for me.
I'm a technological peasant!
3 comments:
Babe, move! Move now! Do what's best for you and worry later about the office/job/other people's issues. For too long, I put off my own stuff and now I wish I had gotten started sooner...
if you have this opportunity now, why wait due to office situation?
what happens if in a year, the newbies have moved on and there are new newbies...or something else going on at work?
be honest with yourself, look at your life and decide if now is better vs later....at this time, you are free kwerkie. this helps, as we all know, romantic entanglements can happen when you are not looking for them and in a years time if it does, it would be harder to leave..
i <3 you though and will miss you when you do go....muah!
C
One thing I know -- it's a nice fiction to pretend that there's a personal and warm bond between you and the office. You spend so much time there that there's bound to be emotional attachment.
But, honestly, if for some *crazy* reason they needed to let you go, would they give you a years notice so your life could continue smoothly? Do what's best for you, sweetie!
Also, just to SHOW OFF my frenchy french side: it's je ne sais quoi -- it should sound as elegant when you write it as when you say it! :)
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