So I am recently discovering that when you shake your fist at The Universe it tends to wrap your knuckles pretty hard.
After the weirdness with Max, I said the following outloud to The Universe : "I am taking a break from men, dating and sex for about 6 months."
This seemed like a logical thing to do. I want to take some time to get back to me, get back to the gym, get back to kickin' some butt at work and just take time for myself. I get cranky when I try to spread myself too thin....work, family and friend commitments...sometimes I just need some serious ME time.
Sooo...about 1 week after I said this we had a Softball Tournament and Matias was one of our subs. He's a nice guy, very cute, very funny and all I could think of was "No phreakin' way! I"m taking a break".
Though I was pleasant to Mattias and extended him all the comraderie that I do with the other people on my team, I didn't make any other special efforts to include him in conversation or even flirt with him. I was taking a break.
Most of us on the ball team belong to an online social club. It's like a message board and we often have get togethers and organize things like softball teams, curling teams, sea wall walks etc etc. It's a great bunch of people and I've met some serious Keepers through this site. (No, it's not a dating site).
As we're talking about this Mattias asks about it and I offer to invite him into our little Clique. (teehee). So I do. Mattias comes on board and is nearly a full fledged member of our Softball Team. We have been flirting outrageously for a week.
I am still not sure I want to be dating...but it is fun to flirt and he makes it soooo easy. Calls me Beautiful and Pretty Lady and has even given me gifts of high quality clothes! He calls me...he texts me and it's very easy to call and text him back and just flirt flirt flirt.
And here is the kicker. I LIKE that he calls and texts and is flirty with me. I like that he says he looks forward to talking to me.
Soo...wtf?? Universe!! I thought you WANTED me to take a break. Is this a test? Should I be walking away from this to show you how strong I can be? Or are you telling me to stop being silly and stop cutting myself off from fun and happiness?
I really want to be all Winnie The Pooh about this. When I stop looking for it isn't it supposed to just show up? Has Mattias just shown up?
Shouldn't this be harder? I'm suspicious that it's too easy.
4 comments:
hon... when it's easy... LET IT BE. Its usually the wrong situation when it's hard cause you shouldnt have to work at a good thing!!
BAH to breaks i say :P
Carmen said it very lovely.
I say just go with it. Don't overthink it. Enjoy the funness of it. Its not like you have to marry the guy tomorrow.
Yeah, it definitely sucks when you run around waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I mean running around in bare feet is all well and good (or in footwear if you're so inclined) but you look like a complete git if you've only got one shoe on :-). As stupid as this probably figuratively sounds, I have been a little guilty of this reticence (man that sounded wanky, sorry) myself at times.
Anyway, also wanted to say I like your blog. Stumbled across it a few days ago and it has been pretty much entertaining me since. I like your honesty, you are braver than I. Hope you can just enjoy yourself.
alrite chiqua... update this thing already!!!!
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