I've been afraid to write in here.
It's true...I know it's shocking, but it's true. It may be that I have given my blog site to too many people or perhaps it's the judgment that I fear. I am also afraid to write exactly what I'm feeling lately for fear that the grumpy pants haven't been put away yet.
Today I felt toxic. I wanted to scream at everyone I saw. Everyone.
I was given a ticket to the hockey game at around 10AM. The ticket was then rudely retracted at around 3PM. So instead of screaming at hot guys on ice...I decided that I needed some retail therapy.
The whole time I was shopping I kept thinking of an episode of What Not To Wear. It made me giggle...especially when confronted with my awful undies that I was wearing today. Maybe that's why I was so pissy today...I was wearing ugly undies.
I want to rant about men right now.
1) I am tired of meek men. I am a confident woman who enjoys being around confident people...men especially.
Most of my friendships are with very strong willed, strong minded, strong personality people. This makes for some volatile moments...but it is also the same reason why my friendships with these people are the most rewarding in my life.
2) I am tired of push push push to get into my puss puss puss. How about getting to know me? How about finding out THINGS about me....what I like to do on a Sunday, what I like to shop for the most, what I love to do in the quiet of the night when no one can see me?
3) I don't want to do all the work. I just don't. I don't want to be chased chased chased cuz that's the first thing that will make me run run run...but I'm not going to do it all either. I'm a bold person...I often make the first move. Well...I'm ready to come in 2nd in that one regard now.
4) Too into me...not into me. Wholly Jebus batman. One guy is too into me...Another guy is calling but can't actually make it to ONE date we've set up. Guy2 keeps asking me out...making plans...and then BAILING at the last minute. Fucking Dr's...I can't date a guy who's more wishy washy than me. After the hockey ticket bullshit...he's done.
5) DATING. Let's look at this word. It's not RELATIONSHIP. It's not COMMITMENT. It's DATING. This means hanging out with, having fun with, making out with....sometimes it might go a little further...but I've taken sex completely off the menu. No. No more sex until I, ME, KWERKIE, wants it. Just because you have an erection doesn't mean I have to do anything with it.
6) TIMING. I need a lot of ME time right now. I am not going out a lot during the week as I once did and my weekends needs to have a significant amount of Kwerkie time too. I am going NUTZ at work right now. I have been putting in a lot of overtime...at least 45 mins a day with WED night being the longest I've ever done in one day. At least the pizza was yummy. So when I say I'm busy or I want to have a night in by myself I don't want a guilt trip for it. Only one of the 2 have been respectful of that so don't think I am makin' stuff up.
*sigh* It's probably just too soon.
I was thinking about Ronan the other day...the waiting for sex...the wooing...the calls in the middle of the day. Now if only I can get the rest of the package too.
I also keep remembering this one day when he came out of the shower...but maybe I just miss the way my tummy would feel when I saw him naked.
*shakes head* There is much more that I want than just lust.
phone is ringing...ignoring it.
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