I've said it before and I'll say it again....ALBATROSS!!
This blog plagues me, hounds me, delights me, astounds me. I have such a love-hate relationship with The Single Files...it just baffles me. I waffle from wanting to blow this whole thing up to wanting to make some serious time to devote to it and turn this into some sort of magic money making display of narcissism.
I have successfully moved to Vancouver (well..Langley) and that's been going really well for me! I am so close to school now I can taste it! In just 7 more business days I get to quit and watch my boss's head explode. My fervent hope is that he TOTALLY loses his nut and doesn't want me to finish out my 2 weeks notice so that I get paid for having a holiday before school starts. I can dream...it's not likely going to happen the way I want it to but I am prepared to work the last 12 days anyway. He did already mention that the office is closed on the 24 and 27 of DEC so he can't really expect me to come in on those 'closed' days....can he? I don't think so.
I've met a fantastic man and things seem to be going OK there. There's only one MAJOR problem. It's a Jordan 2.0. Will (as I shall name him) can not orgasm during sex. Says it's "normal" for him. Well....it's NOT normal. It's in no fucking way normal.
*sigh*
I am not really prepared or well equipped to deal with this sexual dysfunction. Will doesn't think this is an issue. He thinks it's going to sort itself out. He says he takes MONTHS to reach orgasm with a new partner and it takes him over an hour to reach orgasm on his own through masturbation. HOW CAN THIS BE NORMAL?? Just because he's had this all his life doesn't mean there isn't some sort of vascular disorder going on. He has NEVER even mentioned this to a DR. Will is far too concerned with me and MY orgasm which at this point is pretty ridiculous as I can pretty much get myself off within 15 minutes of naked fun time with Will. I believe that this is a 2 fold problem - physical and mental. Will is too much in his head, he needs to just enjoy the moments and the ride and let himself go.
What is the lesson I'm supposed to be learning here? What is the Universe trying to teach me?? Will is a wonderful man, he's caring, he's smart, he's a bit of a wimp in some ways and I'm not being mean when I say he's definitely the "girl" in our relationship. He's much more sensitive than I am. He's much more shy than I am - though I suppose it's such an unfair comparison considering I can barely comprehend the concept of shyness. There are a myriad of reasons why I really do care for Will. This sex issue though is a huge hurdle for me and he seems to think I should be OK with it. That I have to have patience with him and it will magically clear itself up with him reaching orgasm about once every 12 times we have sex...which was the record he had with his last lover.
I am just flabbergasted that I could have met TWO men in the same year who suffer from the EXACT same physical affliction. Having said that they couldn't be more opposite from each other personality wise.
Oh..PS. I'm a bit PMSY and bitchy today and I know it's coming out in my writing. I'm writing when I'm frustrated too so that's not helping the tone of this at all.
I feel like I need to be keeping this up in some way. I need to get into a habit and a ritual and some sort of routine! School will start in January and I'm sure I'll just naturally fall into that.
Enough for now. More soon (ish).
3 comments:
My take in this is that may be you should check yourself because two men and the same Issue may be the Problem is from you did you as k yourself that question?
I DID consider that. However...I have had many lovers over my years and these are the ONLY 2 men who presented with any sort of problem. I am still with Will and he has since sorted out his orgasm issues and when we have sex it's all within normal limits for his pleasure to explode into orgasm (anywhere from 10 minutes to 30 minutes depending on what we're doing).
I am not a bad lover, I've had plenty tell me I'm quite good. I think Jordan's problem is quite deeply rooted in his sense of self worth and it's no wonder that he had such issues...he wasn't behaving particularly well during our relationship.
Will's issue was also wrapped up in his self esteem - he didn't think himself worth of having a loving relationship...so when presented with one that he felt he didn't deserve the issue was presented. Since our relationship has progressed he is more at ease with himself and his sexuality - a sign of a healthy happy relationship I would say!
No post in 6 months? Your like my fill of Carry Bradshaw! I hope things are well :)
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