Breathe in Life, Breathe out Love - repeat. It's necessary

So another week has FLOWN by me and I am sitting here with my head absolutely spinning with how fast things are going right now.

I am feeling once more disconnected and I am sure this comes from feeling a bit too stretched out. My social obligations that I make for myself are suffering and then I beat myself up about it. My work obligations are too many for me to deal with and with NO support from head office I feel like I'm drowning.

I'm falling in love...and it's a harder thing than I had remembered it being before. It's long distance at the moment and I haven't seen Jordan in over a month. The promise was for him to be here this weekend but that looks like it won't happen and I am desperately trying not to let my disappointment be a BIG THING between us.

I am overwhelmed. My emotions are on such a crazy roller coaster right now that I can't tell if I'm coming or going!

Here is what occupies my spare thoughts. The fucking body scanners at the airport. The fact that we're so close to 1984 that it makes me want to buy a piece of land far far far away and be totally self sufficient. I am feeling myself slipping into hibernation mode...I am forcing myself to go out and be social because if I don't maintain what limited contacts I DO have here in Calgary I will just become a total shut in.

I am phreaking out my little chickens.

I need to figure out how to take all this information and process it so that I can be somewhat back to my Happy Kathy state. I need a break. I need to breathe in Life and breathe out Love...I need to repeat this as it's necessary to gain a bit of sanity in this tumultuous time.