Done like burnt dinner

So Tues night I finally get a hold of Marco. We had an awkward convo and then I just jumped in with what I really thinking. I asked him to be 100% honest with me at all times and that if he wasn't into me that he just needed to tell me and I'd be OK with that.

Sooooo. Yeah. He said that he wasn't watning a serious relationship. I thought it was a bit odd...we had only been seeing each other for just over 2 weeks so what kind of 'serious' did he think we had?

Anyway...the crux of the whole thing is this. I accepted what he said and also made it clear that I wasn't' going to do the friends with benefits thing with him. I just wanted my movies back. He thought it was odd that I didn't want to talk more about it. What was there to say? I KNOW I'm a great person, funny, sexy, beautiful...his decision to stop seeing me wasn't a slight on me at all. I wasn't taking it badly at all...sure I was a bit disappointed...but I wasn't going to fall apart. It had ONLY been 2 weeks for heaven's sake.

SO then he calls me the next day....a few times. Said he wanted to see me, we can be friends, maybe he'd regret letting me go...but not to wait for him. I assured him that under no circumstances would I be waiting for him. He made his choice, what else was there?

So we agreed to go to the movies. I really wanted to see "The Rocket" and I knew that he'd bring my DVD's back and I also thought it would be a nice evening to see the movie with him as we are both huge Habs/Richard fans.

Anyway...the evening ended BADLY. He pitched a fit and got into his car and screeeeeeched away recklessly. He nearly hit the parked truck in front of him he was in such a hurry to get away from me. I called him quite a few times that night just trying to get some answers from him but he was too childish to pick up the phone.

What an ass.

Next day he had the balls to say that as I called him too many times that he now thinks I'm a stalker. LOL. I laughed out loud when I saw that. I thought Marco was fairly handsome...but he's not really stalker worthy.

Here's what I think happened. Yes he ended things with me on Tues, but I didn't resist him...I didn't try to change his mind. I just said "OK - sorry you feel that way". Then he realized that it didn't bother me that much...so he maybe changed his mind. Then on Thurs I looked good for our movie outing and was pleasant and funny and all the things I normally am. He even touched my leg to see if I had shaved (Of course I had) and he was flirty and I flirted back....but in my mind he was DONE.

Then we had our drinks...a small tiff about the bill ( he thought I was trying to stiff him with it...I just wanted change for my $20.00) And then he was hurt that a) I wanted my movies back and b) that I wasn't going home with him or having him drive me home. So he was rejected...by a girl he rejected and then changed his mind on.

Oh well...too bad. If I had taken him back it would have been Nelson ALLLLLL over again. No way.

I deserve WAYYY better than the crap Marco was pulling.

Soooo...like the French Canadian Singer 'Mitsou" sang....'Bye bye mon cowboy'

teehee

NEXT!



Oh....and a clarification from the last post...Marco quit baseball based on an alleged "shouldER inury"

Thank you anonymous for pointing out the error.

Smells like...like...burning!

Ok...so now that I like Marco...my nurosis begin.

We spent pretty much every available moment together for an entire week and had a lot of fabulous sex and a lot of fabulous laughs and just a whole lot of fabulous in general. Then I went up to Sun Peaks for work and we spent exactly one week apart with only 2 relatively short phone calls in between to keep any contact.

I came home from Sun Peaks yesterday and he picked me up from the airport. We had a lof of fabulous sex and some fabulous laughs and some VERY FABULOUS food and then yet some more fabulous sex. He spent the night and I hardly slept...he hardly slept.

Looks like he'll be quitting my softball team due to a 'should injury' and I just got the weird vibe from him this morning. I have called this evening and left a message but so far no reply.

I'm trying not to read too much into this. I am trying desperately to stop comapring him to Nelson...which I am finding very hard to do. The reason for this comparison is that Marco just went to trial on WED to finalize his divorce. Oh yes...he's been separated for over 2 years now so I felt it was OK to date him....but I guess I'm just thinking the following:

Am I setting myself up for a burn?

Maybe I should really only date guys that have never been married or at the very least are ACTUALLY divorced...like...2 or 3 years divorced.

I'm tired too...so my emotion-reader hasn't been properly calibrated.

And...what do I want from this anyway?

Montreal won tonight's hockey game and they almost gave it all away in the 2nd period. The game went to DOUBLE over time and it was a fabulous winning goal so I am actually feeling tired but happy in a non-specific way.

Just wish Marco would stop asking me what I am thinking all the time and start telling me what he is thinking.

Sacre Blue!!!

So it's been a week and Marco and I have been spending a lot of time together. Sun, Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, ALLLLLLL Day FRI and then this morning. Funny...I'm not sick of him. It was nice to do my own thing today though, but when he called late in the afternoon...well....my huge smile once more appeared on my face. I am looking forward to him coming over after the Canuck's game tonight.

(Let's not talk about how badly the Canuck's have performed in the last month - they are my 2nds anyway, Go HABS GO!!!)

I know I need to clean up...but I'm tired so here's hoping Marco will forgive the clutter.

Part of me wants to ask him for Easter Dinner tomorrow...the other part of me knows better than to ask after only a week & 1/2 of seeing someone. So the part that wants to ask will just have to be gagged.

And really...I DO like Marco, so it's probably better that he NOT meet my family until I have a chance to give him some schooling on how to handle them. We'll see if we make it past 3 months before I expose him to any of the crazyness. Besides, I need some time to come up with some Lesson Plans on what to do teehee. The nice thing is that I know he'll love my nephews and be very interactive with them...but on the other hand he is pretty straight forward so I'm not sure how he'd handle my Mum.

Anyhoooo. Je like him. We'll see how things go.

All hands above deck....mostly

So Marco came over for our date last night and I have to say...I should probably take a step back.

I like him too much already. I keep trying to have the 'we'll see' attitude...but I'm secretly crossing my fingers over here. However, before you get all wiggy...it's not like I'm saying "oh let him be the one". I'm saying "oh let him not turn weird/meek/clingy/dominating/ and crazy in general".

Right now it's all sunshine and lollipops. We don't know much about each other though I have to say that the bits I am getting to know I like...so far. I am excited to hear from him when he calls, I look forward to tomorrow when I will see him at Baseball (he's joined my team...happy venture or danger land?? what do you think??).

I'm pretty surprised actually. I haven't been wanting a relationship for a while. A forced relationship with Bently bugged me, even more so with Sonny. I couldn't understand why these guys were so quick to be in Relationshipville with me. I wasn't prepared to move out of Singletown that fast.

With Marc I actually caught myself fantasing about introducing him to my friends. *gasp* Oh oh...that must mean I like him. So I thought about our date last night and then was thinking...'yeah...kinda like this one".

He called to re-confirm and we had a pleasant easy conversation. I admited that I needed a bit more time to clean my place and he promised to arrivel 'fashionably late...but not too late". True to his word he came 10 mins after our designated meeting time of 6:30PM....with flowers. Lovely purple tulips that hadn't opened yet.

He brought a bottle of wine, his sly smile and his neat sense of humour. He wore blue jeans and a light blue button down shirt - I totally approved of his smart casual style. I admit to wearing my cute new brown harem pants and my neat-oh mozaic shirt. My make up was light and my hair was down...I felt pretty and confident. It didn't' hurt that I was making dinner and was making one of my favourite dishes...tomato chicken yummyness.

We chatted easily as I finished preparing dinner. Marco came in the kitchen randomly to put his hand around my waist or kiss my shoulder and I felt even PRETTIER and more confident...I nearly felt down right Mrs. Cleaveresque. He opened the wine and winked at me as we clinked our glasses. I smiled slowly and winked back.

Dinner was fairly light fare...chicken in a tomato herbal reduction, steamed broccoli and an herb salad. Our conversation wasn't quite as light...we talked about a wide range of topics from our past relationships to future carreer aspirations. It was nice to get past the small talk and have meatier discussions.

After dinner we walked up to BlockBusters to rent "Walk the Line". I don't know what happened in the movie past the 20 minute mark. That's when Marco and I started to make out. It was lovely. All hands were (mostly) above deck. I had a hard time controlling myself but he was pretty respectful of my 'no sex' rule and didn't push anything...it was me pushing the boundaries I had already set up.

I was particularly happy when in the middle of our date he was asking for another date. A HOCKEY date. I was soooo excited! Hoorah!!

He turned into a pumpkin at around 12:15AM and even called me to let me know that he got home alright. I was just a wee bit worried with the time being so late and him being tired and having to drive.

*sigh* As sappy as this sounds (oh, and trust me, I am TOTALLY aware that I am being MEGA sappy right now), it was nice to have his voice be the last sound I heard before going to sleep.

Pucker up baby

Can you remember the last time you had an absolutely toe curling kiss? The sort of kiss that makes you weak in the knees, tinglies in your nether regions and tight in the chest?

I can.

Mostly cuz it happened just recentlyt in the front seat of Marco's car.

Let me describe the setting for you so you can get the FULL effect.

After drinks we went for a 'spin'. (Marco's word). We drove in his Family Guy car (complete with child seat in the back) to Spanish Banks and drove along the endowment lands. The night was gorgeous and the drive was lovely...Vancouver's lights twinkling away. We drove and talked easily about anything that came to mind. Soon Marco's hand drifted across the unspoken boundary between Driver side and Passenger side and his pinky connected with mine.
ZAP. Electricity and I'm not talking about static.

We held hands and I enjoyed the way that our fingers explored each other's hands while never really disengaging from the principal act of holding hands. We're driving along and as we come up towards Jerico Beach (again) Marco pulls the car in. (Thank goodness). He manouvers the car so that we have an unobstructed view of downtown...a view from his hood to mine.

As we are parked, the conversation gets softer, our voices quieter and in my mind we simultaneously leaned in to each other and our lips met in one of the very sweetest first kisses I've ever had.

His lips were soft and the kiss was a bit shy at first. I wasn't going to rush it, I just wanted to enjoy it. Lips parted, tongues took turns exploring and tasting. Marco is a great kisser. Not too much tongue, no excess syliva.

I couldn't help myself! The kiss was so sweet, so (ok...I'm going to use the word) tender that I found myself reaching up to caress his face as we were making out. Now I've got a huge thing with face/head touching. That for me is pretty intimate...it's what lovers do. I tried to stop a few times...move my hand down to his shoulder or chest, but it seemed like it had a mind of it's own.

Good news...Marco's soft spot is his ears...seems we have more in common than I initially thought. teehee. We made out like teenagers for about 2hours with James Blundt crooning away on the stereo. I have to say...Marco is a romantic and that came across in his initial nervous/shyness (sweaty hands...so cute!) and his choice of music plus the drive down to a beautiful place to have our first kiss.

Here's hoping there are more kisses with Marco to come.

I'll keep you posted...but I'm also trying to play things a bit cool and not get too carried away.
What happens after the phermones? Hopefully something good. We'll see. That's my new motto in romantic daliances..."we'll see".

Oh...and when I say Family Guy Car I am NOT talkin' smack about Marco's vehicle. I adore the way he talks about his son and he does seem like a very caring, very involved Dad. I thought it was very cute that the car seat has a permanent home in the car even if Marco only gets his son every 2nd weekend.

Quelle Suprise!!!! Oooh la la

Bonjour mes amis!

Aujourd'hui je suis très heureux. Oui, c'est vrais!

It has occured to me that I still haven't taken up my language class. I'm leaning more towards French now and there is a class that starts up on 11APR...but that will conflict with something else I've recently joined...BASEBALL!

Yup...that's right! I have signed up for a Co-Ed Slowpitch league and our first practice is next Tues. I already have my own glove and a few baseball caps, a great attitude and a decent batting average...what I don't have is throwing skillz. I hate to admit it...but I do throw like a girl.

The French thing may have to wait until the summer. There are other beginner classes starting in JUL. My main concern is getting into the *right* French class. I went to French emersion when I was a kid...I can understand a lot of French...but speaking it coherently and gramatically correct is a huge challenge for me.

Maybe I'll just get Marco to help me out...he's fluent in both offical languages. I don't think my broken French impressed him, but I do think that I impressed him in other ways. (get your minds out of the gutter!). Marco is new on the scene so let's just see how this goes.

You know me...I don't go in for this 'instant relationship' stuff. "Just add sex!". I am playing things pretty tight right now. I have decided to dwindle the number of men down to 1. It was getting just a bit confusing/frustrating/annoying.

I haven't talked to Sonny in days...I didn't like our last exchange via MSN...it was odd. I couldn't help but feel that if he wanted to discuss the things he read with me, he should have phoned. I probably should call him. I liked him, but I don't think we can bounce back from this. I feel a bit of resentment that he didn't just wait for the conversation to take place. Having said that, I do understand that he'd want to confront me on the post. I believe that this one has ended up a combination of The Fade Out and Ostrich.

Soo...now I am left with Maco.

Funny thing this...I have lost all filters with Marco. I say things I wouldn't normally say. For instance...Marco called me last night and we were chatting easily about everything under the sun. Of course the topic of sex comes up (of course). At one point he asked me if I ever faked an orgasm. Oh my god! I started going on and on about how it's very rare for me to cum with a partner and that it takes a lot of time for me to do that. I was telling him that for years I would fake it and I even told him the story of Pedro! WTF??? WHY would I do that? I don't know. He seemed to take it all in stride...though who knows...it was a phone call...it's hard to judge people's reaction just based on voice alone.

Seeing Marco on Sunday and I am actally very excited about it. He's the first guy in a long while that I am genuinely looking forward to seeing again. When he called me last night...it but a HUGE smile on my face.

But let's not get too carried away here...it's VERY new and maybe it's just the excitement of newness.

This is not an experiement...this is life.

Something was mentioned to me that kinda bugged me.

The direct quote was " I just want to say one thing... I don't want to feel like some sort of experiment..."

I would hardly call my life an experiement. This Blog is not an experiment. This is a reflection of different parts of me, my moods and all their swings, my whims and all their whimsy, my passions, my lusts, my desires, my feelings of all sorts.

Also...no one can make you feel anything you don't allow. I've learned that the hard way myself.

So if you believe this to be an experiment at your expense there is only one solution. End it. I am not going to stop writing down my feelings. I am not going to stop writing about my experiences.

When a show comes on TV that I don't like...I choose not to watch it. I may have cable and access to that channel, but if I don't like the show, I turn the channel or the tv off. It's the same here. IF you don't like what I'm saying, you don't have to read it. It seems rather simple to me.

So new rule. Only girls get the blog site from me. If a man happens to stumble on here that's wonderful and good. Chances are I am not dating them and they won't be offended. teehee. Of course...now I have to be careful not to date any of the women I gave my blog out to. I think that will be less of a problem...I do so love a pretty penis....and women just don't' come with their own.

So yeah...if this is an experiment....where are all the monkeys??? Everybody loves a monkey.

A non- event for Carmen -the hot chick with the tongue ring

I love comments even if I seem afraid of them sometimes. So when Carmen left the "what happened?"comment on "How about a great big cup of..." I felt the need to share.

It's really going to be somewhat disappointing.

I seethed all the way up until 8:30PM. At 8:31 I left my apartment and walked the 28 stairs up to the 7th floor. I stood outside Mr. Fuck's apartment trying to compose myself and not have on my 'fuck you' face. I took several deep breaths and repeated "One million blessing to you" over and over in my head until I felt the bubbles of giggles between my lips.

One more deep breath and then I was ready. I knocked on the door to Mr. Fuck's apartment.

"I'll be there in a minute" came the gruff voice from behind the door. I could hear the scurry of footsteps, the banging of pots and the running of water. I could also here the muttered 'Fuck Fuck Fuck" of Mr. Fuck - there was no doubt that I was at the right apartment. I waited as patiently as possible.

The door opened to reveal a fairly disheveled Mr. Fuck. Big yellow rubber gloves were on, dish soap clinging to the latex for dear life. What amused me was that Mr. Fuck was wearing an apron that read "If you don't like it, eat me" and had a picture of a burnt dinner followed by a steaming pie. I think my eyes widened in surprise.

I told him that I was Kwerkie and asked in my bubbliest voice if he would be so kind as to return my phone.

He said "Oh yes. Just a minute." And then he closed the door in my face and went back into his apartment to retrieve my phone.

I felt like I was waiting for 5 minutes but it was probably only 30 seconds. He came back sans big yellow rubber gloves, sans dish soap and apron but AVEC my phone.

I thanked him for keeping my phone safe and gave him my friendliest smile. (Well...clearly it couldn't have actually been my friendliest of faces as it wasn't a genuine smile...but I could have won an Oscar for it I'm sure).

He mumbled something about being responsible in the future and I just continued to smile and repeated my Thank You. Then I waved and left, leaving him still standing in his door step.

"Thanks again! Have a great night! Loved the apron!" I called out to him as I opened the door to the stairwell and made my way back to my happy space.

So overall...a fairly non-event.

And Carmen...you're supposed to be Chloe!! But I'll give you back your name as my very own Chloe will be making her first appearance in the WORLD on or around May 26th.
Well...she won't be my OWN Chloe. I am referring to my as of yet unborn niece who's name was told to us a few months ago.