Let's Make A Deal

So after my last few dating experiences I thought it was time to really think about and define what my Deal Breakers are.

We all have them, and some of them are fairly common and made good sense. Infidelity; for example, is pretty much my # 1 Deal Breaker, followed closely by Lying, Criminal Behavior, Assholia (treating people like crap just cuz they can) and Not Wanting Any Children.

It's pretty heavy and I know it must read like all I want to do is go out and get married and have a baby. It is a bit more complicated than just that. Not just any guy will do y'see. And I don't want to jump right from Girlfriend to Wife to Mum in under 4 years - that is just folly!

I look at my oldest brother and his wife and they have been together since 1993. That is 13 years!!! Their marriage has lasted longer than my parent's did and they still seem to really be in love with each other. It's not like they don't have their moments or frustrations or times when they may be contemplating murdering each other.

Sometimes the idea of being with the same person for more than 2 years frightens me. Could I really have my interest kept for that long? I've never had the opportunity to test it out...2yrs was the longest relationship I ever had...and it was built all on lies lies lies.

Anyway...I'm getting away from the topic at hand here. Deal Breakers.

1) Infidelity
2) Lying
(I know they seem to go hand in hand but sometimes they don't...so a separate category was necessary)
3) Kids - I don't mind if they have a child but I do really want to at least TRY to have a baby of my own. If it's off the shelf then I can't put my heart on it.
4) Smoking - I know I know...I have dated a few smokers (Mattias as the most recent) and I just can't do it anymore. It's bad enough they want to poison themselves, I don't have to be a part of that. (Aren't reformed smokers the worst?? I know! I'm one of them!P).
5) Obstinance - I"'m the bossy one....I can't be bossed around (much)
6) Distance. This one is tricky. Mattias lives 76kms away...I am sans vehcile so it was always him coming out to see me or us meeting up after work as we both worked downtown. It's crazy how far away 76kms really is.

I think I'm a very easy going person and I tend to let a lot of things slide - probably TOO many things slide.

I vow to be a bit more picky....no more comprimising myself into an unhealthy relationship or away from my dreams.

And NO....I don't want to have a baby right now....or even 9 months from now - but it's sort of in my 5-8year plan.

The change is starting....hair first....glasses next...what will happen after that? You'll have to stay tuned!

Shut up WhiteSnake!

So here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I"ve ever known.
Like a drifter I was- I SAID.....SHUT UP WHITESNAKE!

*sigh* So of course Mattias and I have ended our romantic dalliance. It was coming for a while and to be honest, it was the very nicest break up I have ever had.

It started innocent enough - he was asking how my brother and sister-in-law were doing now that their baby has come into the world 2 1/2 weeks early. It morphed into the "We both know Kwerkie wants kids" talk....and then pretty soon we were sitting there with this ENORMOUS elephant in the room which we both refused to acknowledge.

Kwerkie "Do you see that great big elephant sitting over there?"

Mattias "Oh...you mean that large Grey Affrican with the floppy ears and extra long trunk?"

Kwerkie "Oh...is that what that is? An Affrican Grey?

Mattias "You tell me....I dont' see it"

And there it was....over. It ended with lots of cuddling and he even stayed the night...in my bed. And nothing happened. Well...we did cuddle. There was no nookie or wookie or nose biting or anything to suggest that we were lovers.

I melted down a wee bit in the morning when he gave me back my keys. The fact that we haven't really stopped talking to each other still seems a bit odd. We were talkers....5-8 times a day when we didn't see each other....and at least 3-5 times during the day PRIOR to meeting up. We were all about talking. And we talked about everything.

LadyK even made the comment that Mattias was the closest personality match to myself and that she could totally understand why I was attracted to him both physicaly and mentally.

*sigh*

It's a bit silly...but I know that he isn't the one for me so that makes me feel a bit better. There are changes coming...moving most likey to a cheaper place so I can save some $$ and then .....brace yourself....Calgary in 2008.

Maybe I'll get a horse....probably just a dog though - and to be clear I am NOT talking metaphorically.

What a great time...right before my birthday. I must be getting wiser or something.